Jackson Simpson, New Norfolk High School
My Uncle Jarred loved hair.
Yep you read correctly.
He grew his hair to amazing lengths just for his own satisfaction.
Last time we checked the hair on his noggin measured in at 30cm, his beard was 20cm long and his back hair…….
I’d better not go there.
If he dropped food on the ground he didn’t mind, he just picked it up and ate it hair and all.
The hair in the drain didn’t gross him out, in-fact he just pulled it out and added it to his collection.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Uncle Jarred had a hair collection!
The dry hairs were put into boxes and the wet hairs (mainly from the drain) were stuck onto his hairball.
Uncle Jarred’s hairball was 10 times bigger than me and a lot bigger than him.
The hairball was his pride and joy.
I think he loved it even more than Aunty Carroll!
One day I asked Uncle Jarred what he wanted that stinky old hairball for.
He replied with this.
“Once it’s big enough I will have the worlds most amazing hair-do!”.
His bold statement scared me, so I told Aunty Carroll.
She replied with this.
“The silly old bugger’s head is full of crazy dreams, forget about it dear”.
So I did.
A week later I went back to visit Uncle Jarred and Aunty Carroll.
When I walked into the backyard I noticed something very unusual.
The roof of the shed was missing and there was a small crane with its arm over the top of the shed.
The weirdest thing of all was that the hairball was missing!
I walked into the house to see Aunty Carroll crying.
“What’s wrong?”, I asked.
She sniffled then took a deep breath.
“Your Uncle Is…. DEAD!”, replied Aunty Carroll while still crying.
“What!?, how?”, I spluttered.
“The silly old bugger thought he could wear that stupid gigantic hairball on his head!”.
“Your joking, that’s ridiculous!”, I screamed.
“Yes I know, exactly what I thought”, she continued.
“Then what?”, I asked.
“Well…. he got the damn thing on his head with that crane, then he took a few steps outside and ZAP!, the silly old bugger ran into the power lines!”.
She then went back to crying.
I joined her.
That was a sad day for me and I am re-telling this to get a point across.
Don’t be like my Uncle Jarred and love hair.
No good comes out of it in the end.
Why else do you think me and my Aunty Carroll have been bald for the last 2 years?!