Barney Hill's Incident

• Declan Keyes, Grade 12
• Short Story
• 2014

Barney Hill had come to see a psychiatrist. There was something that had been bothering him for some time, and his wife, Betty, insisted he get some professional help.

“What’s your secretary’s name, Doc?” said Barney. He hung his coat and hat on the rack, and took a seat on the chaise lounge in Doctor Frank’s office. “She’s fine as wine, that one. A real looker.”

“It’s, uh, Suzie,” replied Doctor Frank. He adjusted the round spectacles on his nose, and jotted some preliminary notes on his clipboard. He looked up from his desk to inspect Barney.

“How are you feeling Barney? This is your first trip to see a psychiatrist, is that right?”

“Do you mind if I smoke in here, Doc? I haven’t had a good smoke in hours.” Barney pulled a pack of cigarettes from out his jacket pocket. He clicked his lighter a few times, cupping his hands over the flame. The end of the cigarette starting glowing bright red, and Barney blew a plume of smoke out of his mouth. He coughed.

Doctor Frank jotted down some more notes on his clipboard.

“I’m sorry, Doc. I can’t say I believe all too much in this psychic mumbo jumbo - ”

“It’s psychiatry, Barney. Not psychic.”

“Oh, sorry, Doc. Anyway, as I was saying, I’m more of a left brain man, myself. This all seems a little airy-fairy, don’t you think?

Barney took another long drag of his cigarette, and filled the room with a white haze as he exhaled.

“Just sit back for me, Barney. Tell what happened,” said Doctor Frank.

Barney did as he was told. He enlightened the Doctor about the nature of his problem. He told the Doctor about the night it happened, ignoring not a single grisly detail. Half an hour past before Barney's narrative was over. He finished with a ceremonious puff from his cigarette, and another cough.

“And what did your wife, sorry, what was her name again?”

“Betty.”
?“And what did Betty have to say about all of this?”

“Oh, she thought I was crazy, as you’d expect. She thinks my whole family’s got a screw loose, if you get my meaning. My sister, she lives down in Roswell, oh, Betty’s always a got a word or two to say about her.”

Doctor Frank had filled up numerous sheets of paper with notes throughout his and Barney’s session together. Barney was just in the middle of telling the Doctor how he and Betty had met when Suzie knocked on the door.

“Oh, come in,” said Doctor Frank, eager to get some relief from his patient.
“Can I just see you outside, Doctor Frank? Mr. Kennedy has called again about his appointment.”

Doctor Frank obliged, and accompanied his secretary outside to attend to Mr. Kennedy. Barney sat in silence, puffing away cheerily on his cigarette. He glanced out the window and saw a dark speck zoom across the sky. His chest tightened and his blood ran cold for a split second before he realizes it was just an airplane. At that moment, Doctor Frank reentered the room.

“I’m so sorry about that, Barney. Now, please tell me more about your... alien abduction.”