Oblivion

• Sophie Taylor, Grade 7
• Short Story
• 2017

I am in the nothing. All around me is an endless darkness. I can feel myself, but it is not quite me. There is no ground beneath my feet, yet I am still standing. There is just me and the darkness.
It is endless. I tried walking, running, trying to find an end but there is none. Why am I here?
The street. A car speeding towards me.
Is this the afterlife? Am I dead?
Closer. A screech and the smell of rubber.
Was I sent here? Is it because of her?
Pain. Then nothing.
...Because of what I did?
I cannot deny it. Her death was my fault. It was not what I intended, not what I wanted! But it happened still. She loved me. Loved me more than anyone could. But I didn’t love her. I used her, like a die in a game. I played with her emotions, her feelings. Made her happy. Made her feel like someone cared.
I didn’t know this would happen! I didn’t think she would take it that far! In this darkness, all I can feel is guilt. All I can see is the same scene playing over and over again in my head. Her limp body. Her eyes wide open, stained with tears. The red knife…
And all that blood.
Was this her wish? Her dying will? Did she want me to suffer like this? Am I destined to this guilt for the rest of forever? Is she watching me now? Is she here with me?! I tried calling her name, but my words were taken away from me. I tried telling her that I was sorry but the sound of my voice was gone.
I kept walking, it was the only thing I could do in this nothing abyss. How long had I been here? Days? Weeks? Time didn’t exist here, nor anything that made any sense. Why was I so cruel? I knew she was fragile, yet still I broke her. I knew she had no one, yet I left her. Why did I do it? I should have known she would do it! I should have known she would end her own life! So why?
Maybe… because I thought no one could ever love me so much…
What had I done? She didn’t deserve to die. I lost someone who loved me. She lost someone who didn’t. Why was I so stupid? How could I make this mistake!
I deserve to be here, wherever here is. I deserve this.
Suddenly, I saw light.