What Remains Of Me

• Laurra Eaddie, Grade 8
• Short Story
• 2009

15~02~09
Dear Diary,
Finally, I found you. The heartache of being on that bus, just looking at all of the ash that has been left behind was incredibly depressing. I remember sitting in the Community Hall, with thousands of other people in the same situation as I found myself; hoping their loved ones would shortly appear. After a long while of praying, wishing, and hoping, that wasn’t the story for me.
We were at home. Home sweet home. I had arrived home from work at the Vet early. My partner, Drake, usually came home about two hours later. We had the most relaxing time, just sitting there, he and I, eating pizza and enjoying a glass of wine….
When I awoke all I could smell was smoke but it didn’t really worry me until Drake woke me up completely. I looked around and all I saw was red flickering against the darkness. All I could feel was the dreadful heat and my nostrils filling with smoke! There was the sound of crackling close by…what was happening?
I feel so guilty looking back because Drake chose to save me, but in doing so, injured himself. I was dropped off at the Community Hall, and left to watch the grey door, willing it to open, and waiting for his arrival, totally unaware that he would not shortly join me. Where had Drake gone? Silent hours became days as reality forced me to accept my loss, and give up all hope.
Trying my hardest to stay positive, hoping everything would be okay, I began to be aware that my life had been permanently altered by the events of that evening. Now I have returned, to see if any of our lives together remains. Everything is black and charcoal except you my diary and a photo of Drake and I on our honeymoon, the happiest moment in my sad life.
It’s my entire fault. Yes, it’s my entire fault because I am here and he isn’t. I am unsure how I shall begin to rebuild my life anew, …I feel so empty and without purpose and don’t feel like I will ever find the energy to smile again. I just can’t imagine it at the moment.