Pants Problem

• Amber Anderson, Grade 5
• Short Story
• 2010

Pants Problem!
Heeeellooooo h-h-h-hummaaaaaans! Dooo you speeeeak my laaanguaage?...... Well of course you do! The only difference between us is we’re magical and you’re not. You may think that we wizards have all the fun, but we have very, VERY EMBARASSING problems, just like you. I could list absoballylutely MILLIONS! But I’ll just tell you the least embarrassing one.

It was a Monday. You know that day when everything seems to go wrong. Well on this unlucky day it was our Invisibility-Spell-Exam. Gulp! But I’ll be OK……if I wear my lucky pants. I put on my shirt, holding out my pants for a dirt inspection. WHOOOOOOSH goes the wind. WHAT THE?! This is not, I repeat, NOT a good time for my pants to blow away! Grabbing my broomstick, I fling myself out the window after them.

Flying above my neighbour’s castles….peaceful, other than my run-away pants in front of me. I’m not stupid, I can see everyone giggling at me! Well, I don’t care what they think. From way up here they look like tiny, helpless ants and I can squish them all! Oh. I know what they’re laughing about. I feel my cheeks get hot. If I’m chasing my pants then what am I wearing on my……SPLAT!

I open my eyes, immediately realizing where I was. I had been careless enough to land in a griffin’s nest! I’m too young to be bird-seed!!!.... Aha! I take out my wand and ABRACADABRA! I’m suddenly inside a giant egg. The Griffin won’t notice me now! MWA-HA-HA-HA..um..excuse me.
A few minutes later the Griffin flew in, squawked with delight at the sight of a Griffin-sized egg and SAT ON ME!!!!!

Phew! It’s getting hot in this egg. There’s probably steam coming out my ears. I have to get out!

Here goes operation escape! I kick, making two holes in the egg for my feet. The Griffin flaps up in surprise and I, still inside the blasted egg, jump out the nest and waddle frantically down the street. Of course, the griffin starts chasing me. Who was the dumb wizard who designed this street? I mean, why on earth would somebody plant a tree that a griffin could nest in on a busy road? Oh great. Why, oh why. Next door’s freaky black cat has joined the chase!

Hey…… wait a moment! I can’t hear the Griffin flapping along behind me any more. Maybe Bully Cat scared it away! I never in a million years thought I’d be glad that pest was chasing me! The cat pounces, scratching and biting, but only succeeds in breaking the egg around me. Using my normal escape-from-evil-cat-route, I jump into a pool.

I climb out soaking wet and walk onwards to school, feeling proud and….king-like for rescuing a desperate pair of pants. Everyone’s still laughing and pointing at me though. I can’t figure out why. The one thing I didn’t notice was a hole in my lucky pants.