Letting Go.

• Lauren Jackson, Grade 9
• Poetry
• 2010

His body twisted and curved in ways that made him that much more terrified. He was being dragged, deeper and deeper into smothering blackness. The usual heartbeat that accompanied him was gone and so had the ability to breathe. Memories danced around his face, gleaming. Untouchable.

Suddenly, with a jerk, he wasn't plummeting through darkness any more. He was a young boy again, on his first day of kindergarten. A blazing red T-shirt was clung stiffly onto his body. The small legs he had carried him forward, his mouth beaming from ear to ear.

The world around him melted into another memory, where a rough looking man with thick grey eyebrows and a stomach that sank halfway down to his knees sat, with his eyes boring into Howard's.
“Congratulations son,” his deep voice rumbled, “you passed.” He concluded it with a thud on the back, making Howard stumble, and shoved the shining new licence into his trembling hands.
“T-Thanks!” Howard stammered, both shocked and over-whelmed.

The world around Howard blurred and he found himself, several years older, bent down on one knee with a velvet box clutched tightly in his shaking, slightly sweaty hands.
“Angela Lee Jones,” he began slowly, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, “will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

It changed again, a baby girl was cradled in his arms. She was so small, compared to the big things in life she would have to endure.
“Howard, isn't she beautiful?” Angela murmured. Howard was completely speechless. No words could describe the wave of emotions he was experiencing. His world spun again, taking him to yet a different scene. Howard found himself driving his usual common silver station-wagon to work. The radio was humming quietly in the background as he leant to pick up his hot, steaming cup of fresh coffee.
“Ah,” he sighed, taking a sip. He rested it back down, noticing his phone flashing. As he reached down to get it his head smashed against the steering wheel. Warm liquid ran down Howard's handsome face. The pain he felt was excruciating. His legs were numb, dead. His body was cold, his head fell on an un-natural angle and there was a throbbing ache that ran down his back.

Everything had happened so fast, it took Howard a moment to realise he was back in the drowning blackness. Whispers bounded around him. A blinding light appeared, piercing his eyes so fiercely it was as though his eyes were on fire. His body drifted towards it, without him making it do so. He let everything go, nothing mattered any more. Golden swirls wrapped around him, guiding him upwards. He blinked, staring at the sparkling, pearl coloured gates that shone so brightly and knew exactly where he was. It was like his life had been complete. He then, discovered for the first time in his life, he was truly home.