Elisa

• Rhialle Seric, Grade 9
• Poetry
• 2010

“Elisa, you are allowed to cry. We've both been through a lot of heartache and stress with mum being so sick. Its okay, you can cry. Maybe you'll feel better?”
“Mum wouldn't want me to cry. She wouldn't want me feeling sorry for myself. She never did, so why should I? I can cope.”
Amelia said nothing for a while. Instead, she sat next to Elisa and studied her, ignoring the outer physique of a shielded and stoic woman and observed the grief-stricken and helpless little girl who was hiding inside. Amelia knew that Elisa wasn't as emotionally strong as she made other people believe. Elisa was a little girl at heart, crying for her mother’s presence.

There was silence in the car as they drove. Amelia began to cry muted sob. Elisa could feel her tears pushing for release but managed to pull herself together. When they arrived, family and friends were chatting in the parking area. Although Elisa had understood that she would never see her beloved mother again, it finally struck her - she was attending a funeral, her own mother's funeral, and it was time to say goodbye.

Samuel spoke the eulogy. He was similar to his sister Elisa - appearing emotionally tough but inside there was a little boy grieving. As the eulogy continued, Elisa began to reminisce on the lifetime of memories she had with her mother.

She clearly remembered the day when she found out that her mum had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. At first Elisa felt numb, feeling no emotion at all. When the initial shock wore off she felt an immeasurable amount of grief. She was terrified and saddened by the thought that eventually her mother would shut down and communication would be lost.

Elisa’s mind drifted to the day when they could no longer care for their mother, so she was taken to a nursing home.

“What’s my name?”
“I don’t know... Theresa!”
“Mum, that’s your name. What is my name? I’m your daughter, Elisa!”
“That’s a nice name... Who are you?”
Elisa’s heart stopped. Her mother didn’t even recognise her own daughter, a daughter she had raised for seventeen years.

Elisa recalled the happy and joyful moments; like the time the family had a holiday in America and they visited Disney World. The look on her mother’s face was priceless as she was terrified of the rides. Then Elisa remembered the time when she fell out of a tree and hurt her leg. Her mother had come over and kissed the pain away.

Elisa loved her mother before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, she loved her while she was battling the disease, she loved her after she passed away.

Elisa sobbed.