Underpants On The Attack!!

• Jasper Dew, Grade 2
• Short Story
• 2011

Today my class was meant to have an excursion to space but everyone was sick except me. Once inside the spaceship my teacher wondered, “Where are we going?” I suddenly realised we were going to Underpants Planet when I saw pictures of underpants surrounding us! When I told my teacher this she screamed “AAAARRR!! I said, “calm down” but she kept screaming. I checked the controls, but no one was there! How could the spaceship drive itself?

We crashed! I looked around. “I think I saw an alien” I said. It had an underpant head, a spiky body and green legs. It looked down at my teacher and roared. We were scared and jumped on the spaceship’s mini pod to escape.

I took my binoculars from my pocket and watched the alien. He flicked undies at me and suddenly my binoculars were whisked into space. I dodged the undies but couldn’t see my teacher. Maybe she was back at school. I zoomed off back to school. Underpants were flying everywhere. I shouted, “STOP!” I cried out loud but the aliens ignored me. I couldn’t stop them, or could I? I grabbed some flying undies and used these like slingshots. The undies wrapped around the aliens’ legs like elastic bands and they couldn’t move. I ran back to the spaceship and pressed the button on the control panel that said “ZOOM TO UNDERPANT PLANET.” Sure enough I was heading for Underpant Planet!

When I landed I screamed “where is my teacher?’ An alien laughed “Ha, ha, ha. I will get all the underpants in the world. I will rule with underpants!” I guess they were at my school because they like the patterns on human underpants. He locked me in the cell with my teacher. Luckily I had a chainsaw in my other pocket! I saw our crushed spaceship and a vicious looking monster pacing around it. He had three pink eyes, big sharp teeth, poisonous saliva dripping from his mouth and green zigzag prickles sticking out of his bottom! I had to think fast.

I wrote my plan in the dust. 1. Get my teacher to make funny faces at the monster. 2. Sneak up and pull out the zigzag prickles from his bottom. 3. Chase the monster so he gets dizzy and falls over. We escaped and made our way over to the monster and put the plan into action. It worked! After the monster fell over I used the zigzag prickles like screwdrivers to fix the spaceship. My teacher and I now zoomed back home.

The aliens were never seen again. If you were wondering why, well I sprayed underpant shrinker on the planet and it shrunk until it was nothing but air. Back at school everybody had a party because I destroyed the aliens! Everyone except for one person, who grows long teeth, has a bit of saliva dripping from his mouth and zigzag spikes sticking out of his bottom where he carries his collection of underpants.