Say Cheese

• Rose Kennedy, Grade 7
• Short Story
• 2011

I crawled awkwardly down the twisted stairs. “Argggg,” I moaned as I reached the bottom of the stairs and looked desperately in my head for my balance back. Once I found it, I staggered to the kitchen table and plonked myself down on a stool. “Photo day…yay!” I said sarcastically under my breath. I hated school photos, mainly because I suck at them, but I was determined that this photo would be the best school photo ever.
Once I finished my breakfast at the table, I staggered back up the twisted stairs to my room and got changed into my horrible Crestwood High uniform. I was just glad that this day would finally be over and done with…

At school, I could barely recognise my three best friends, let alone all the other people in my year! Every girl was wearing some form of makeup, and every guy had some form of outrageous hair style.

As I struggled through the crowded hallway, I caught a glimpse of what appeared to be my best guy-friend, Alex. I ran towards him, also now seeing my two other best friends, Rachel and Amelia. And just at that moment, the bell rang, and we all ran off to class, watching everyone fuss over their looks.

Just before lunch, we were told our class photos were in the middle of period 4, the second last period for the day. I did not like this at all. I was already feeling rather sick to the stomach, and if my illness kept going the same direction, I would be throwing up in the bathroom by period 4! I tried asking the teacher if it were possible to swap with another class, but all I got in reply was some lecture about how lucky we are that we aren’t in some developing country with no food. So I was guessing it wasn’t possible to swap.

“Class 798, it is time for your photos in the hall. That’s class 798.” I could barely hear the announcement over the top of all the girls squealing in my ear, but I managed, and I felt my stomach turn upside down – literally. I walked slowly with the crowd around me suffocating me. I wouldn’t have minded so much if it weren’t for my splitting headache and butterfly-filled stomach.

I stood there on the wobbly, metal step. I looked down at the ground below me, and swallowed hard. This was it. I could smell all the hairspray coming from Hannah Spell’s hair directly in front of me. It was disgusting. Hannah was the most popular girl in the school, not to mention the prettiest and dumbest too. I hated her guts, and she hated mine too, so it was sort of fair in a way. Her photo was always good…
“Ready guys?”
My photo was always bad…
“And 1…2…3”
Oh my gosh! I was going to spew!
“Say cheese…!”
The camera flashed and that was it. I had blown it! Everything was black, and all I could hear was the faint, high-pitched “Ewwww!” coming from every girl in the hall. I could spell something feral, something horrible, and just wanted to get away from it, but I couldn’t. I was on the floor, half conscious, and could only manage to do one thing…laugh.

And that is how I managed to get the best photo ever. Me somehow managing to flip my hair in front of my face, and vomiting all over Hannah Spell, giving her the worst school photo taken at Crestwood high ever. And that, my friend, is something to laugh about…