Fear

• Courtney Olley, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2011

Have you ever woken up with the fear that you would never wake up again?
Have you even thought that life wasn’t worth living?
Have you ever not eaten for days? …..

I have plenty of times and let me tell you it’s not a good feeling knowing that the chance of living that day is the same as dying, but that’s what it’s like when you’re going through a war in Vietnam, you never know when our house might get blown up or when someone is going to come through your front door shooting everyone.

I know I’m only 14 but I always think that life’s not worth living, that I might be better off dead, but then I sit back and I think real hard and think about who would be effected if I wasn’t on this earth, that would be my little brother Kyle who’s only 2, my older sister Kate who’s 15 but especially my mother Mary because we’ve only just recently lost our Dad and now she only has us kids to live for.

Dad was a soldier in the war it was awful when we found out the police knocked at our door and as soon as Mum opened the door and they said would you mind if we came inside, and she just started balling her eyes out she said I know he’s dead isn’t he just leave me alone and slammed the door! Our whole family was a mess for weeks afterwards and it was so bad. We all couldn’t do anything but cry.

I can’t go to school and neither can my older sister, we have to work as maid’s at the local diner and my mother has to look after Kyle, work all day sleep all night it never changes 365 of the year, all days are exactly the same! I’m going to run away one day soon! I know that my whole family will be effected but I have to I’m going to go somewhere maybe Australia I’ve heard that’s a good place, but how I’m going to get there and where I’m going to stay is a whole different question. If only I could convince my older sister to come with me that would be better because then we could help each other to get there. Maybe I’ll ask her I really don’t know, but one thing I do know is that I can’t stay in this sort of lifestyle for to much longer! I’ve just heard that tomorrow there is a chance that a bomb will be let off and that the part of the country will explode.

‘RINGGG’ goes my alarm for school wow was that a bad dream, I’m so glad it wasn’t real.