The Thread That Bound Me

Merit in the 'Writers Wanted - July 2011 - Step Write Up' competition

A bead of sweat ran freely down my already slick forehead, my back was fiercely aching from concentrating so hard for such a long time, but I refused to stop. I hunched over the steering wheel, my knuckles gripping it so fiercely that I was sure that there would be imprints there later if I checked, but I doubted I ever would. I glanced at the sky once again; the orange colour of the sunset that was just disappearing under the horizon seemed to urge me to hurry. A red light. I screeched to a stop just before the line, and for a whole thirty seconds that the light stubbornly stayed red.

My mind hollered and strained against the boundaries of my body, and for a slight split second, I lost my concentration. I needed it, yes the drug. Secretly I had always known my addiction even though I had always denied the fact to my friends. From the first time I had tasted it, I was hooked like a fish dangling from a fishing hook. Yes I had struggled, but what use was it, sooner or later, I always seemed to lose control and make a wild dash to stash of the drug hidden in my house. I knew it was wrong and that I was killing myself slowly but surely, but I just couldn’t restrain myself. I never seemed to be able to do that.

Previously, I had tried everything, honestly, from reasoning sensibly to myself and even tying myself down, though surprisingly that didn’t last long as my knots were always weak and loose and quite easy to undo. I was like a mouse looking at a mousetrap, knowing it was death, yet unable to resist the waves of temptations of the glorious smell of the ever so tempting cheese.

A strangled triumphant chuckle burst from somewhere deep down there inside from me as the light turned green and for a moment I was afraid of what I had become. No horrified was the correct term, but my body could not be denied, almost acting on its own, my foot slammed itself onto the pedal and my car obediently shot forwards toward the shop, towards what I had been craving for in the past few days.

The road was free of traffic, though I suppose it was normal seeing as it was so late. A sudden chill crept over me as I thought of the possibility of the shop being closed. The very thought terrified me to my core. Determined to make it before closing time, I pressed my foot to the pedal even harder, until I was ripping through the roads at a steady seventy kilometres per hour. It was only the concern for my safety that prevented me from pressing the pedal even more. I glanced at the skies again, and a jolt ran through me. What had previously seemed like a bright orange sunset was quickly turning into the common starry night that I saw every night.

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