Lament For Lenore

Screaming, screeching of brakes as the black Ute slid out of control directly into the path of the motorbike. The vehicle lurched and swerved forward knocking the bike into the air, rolling, crashing to the ground, crushing its delicate rider…

I awoke with a jolt, screaming. I buried my face into my pillow. It was the same dream I had every night since she died.

My chest felt tight as I drowned in the thoughts swimming around my head.

I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with freezing water, looking up into the mirror, only to see the face I hated. The face I despised. More than anything, more than the drunken fool that killed her…

Me.

‘Murderer.’ The guilt was screaming in my head, mocking me. ‘It’s your fault. You should have protected her.’ I couldn’t breathe. I was being pulled under as I sank into the depths of bottomless heartbreak. I picked up the razor on the cabinet, shaking, and struck it against my wrist. The pain numbed my thoughts as tiny droplets of blood appeared on the pale surface of my skin. I sank to the floor, filled with emptiness.

I needed to get out. I grabbed my keys. I knew exactly where I was going.

I pulled up at the edge of the field, the dewdrops glistening in the moonlight. I could faintly hear the ocean colliding with the rocky cliffs below, as the icy breeze blew tiny white petals through the sky.

I ran through the damp grass to the top of the cliff, where the pear tree Lenore and I planted was bursting with sweet perfumed blossoms. Underneath lay Lenore’s grave.

I fell to the ground by the upturned dirt.

“L-Lenore, I’m so sorry.” I breathed through tears.
“I wish you were here, I just don’t know what to do without you, and everything’s falling apart. It’s all my fault”

“Andrew, it’s not your fault.” A figure beside me spoke with the voice I knew so well, and missed so painfully much… it couldn’t be.

“Lenore?” I whispered.
She was there, her long black dress trailing behind her and floating in the wind.

“Andrew, listen. Don’t give up, you have so much to live for.”

“What? Lenore-”

Suddenly there was a gush of wind as the field fell dark and the clouds swallowed up the moon.

“Lenore? Don’t go!” I pleaded as rain pelted down. I sank into the grass as my thoughts came flooding back to me in the cold darkness.

I have nothing. I don’t value anything. All I want to do is be with Lenore… I thought as I lay in the dirt. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I walked to the edge of the cliff, seeing only with the flashes of lightning that pierced the sky above me. I looked down, inhaled sharply and jumped, falling, plunging, into the freezing depths of the water below. The waves ripped though me, tossing me as I fell numbly asleep.

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