Faith In Despair My Blue Emerald Eyes

• Dasom Jenny Song, Grade 12
• Short Story
• 2011

The sun is still setting and we're waiting until it says goodbye. Since that time I lived in the darkness but my heart was filled with light...
* * *
'I got myself ready to go to church. I had waited three months for this day. I remembered when I was in Sydney - it took forever for me to choose my clothes. Ha, the old days...
The sun left us and I grabbed my Bible, stashed inside my secret box.I set it under one of those loose tiles that Mum and I discovered the first day we arrived at our new home. It is the only thing that we have. Our home is a bathroom, and I like our home.
I peeped through the small crack of our door and mum would shut the curtains of our bed-tub. Before we set off, Mum wore her burqa and I saw her weary eyes; she silently cried last night while praying for me. She smiled at me.
We walked through the narrow hallway downstairs to the city streets. Mum would then shove me under her cloak and hide me from people as I had blue-emerald eyes. It was always quiet in there despite scraps of broken glass, things scattered everywhere and the steady sound of sirens as I looked down from Mum's cloak. I felt her back turn every second as I grabbed it tightly. Mum promised me she would show me the world when i became too tall to be hiding inside her cloak. I knew that that wouldn't happen as I was really short for my age.
I haven't seen the outside world, but I see it with my senses. I can feel the crumbled, stones of roads as I step along our pathways; I can smell a rust of mankind that smells like our hallway. It's very different from where I used to live. Here, I am grateful that I even have bread because it tastes like heaven. I heard explosive sounds as I traveled, and I remembered hearing them in "Star Wars" when I watched it with my friends on my 10th birthday.
We probably walked two hours or more when I knew we were close enough to church, as i felt the sands in my sweaty toes. As we slyly entered towards the footsteps to the underground church, Mum tapped my back and with the biggest smile, I swiftly ran out like a deer from the black long ghost-like cloak and hurried towards the gate. I felt the sense of freedom and at that moment I heard a bang! I turned back and by nature, I hid in the altar. I instantly paled at the horrifying sight before my eyes finding my fellow brothers and sisters all tortured and the cement ground drowning with their blood.
"Mum!" I shouted deep inside my heart and felt tears and agony flooding my eyes. I bit my fist in my mouth as I knew what her fate would be.
I heard the footsteps of someone; I knew they were coming for me because even though I may be short, I am a giant. I tumbled as the altar tumbled; I was crushed as it crushed; I was burnt as it burnt. They saw my eyes and said, "Will you deny yourself or Christ?" I said "...how can I?" and he shot them.
***
Looking back, it was a blessing to me for I walked along the Sahara desert freely, trained with my senses; holding the Bible firmly in my hands under the burqa, whispering the Good News.