Lamentable; That Cliff Of No Return

I stare through the window and watch the sun set for the tenth time knowing it will be the end. ‘Coward’ and ‘chicken’ I have been called too often. Not this time; it will be different. My shoes slip on easily and in only a few moments, I was downstairs. Empty, as usual. Why it was surprising, I still don’t understand. My family weren’t coming back; they didn’t love me, they didn’t care for me.

I leave the house, walking to the cliffs, with stranger’s eyes peering at me with distaste. Keeping my head down, I continue walking in the cold. The memorable spot was still the same – boundary fence and benches. People pass me by but take no notice of me standing on the outside of the fence. Alone and isolated is what I feel.

The waves smash the cliff; the sound, liberating. I look down at the water, adrenaline pumping through my veins. A salty ocean breeze creates a memorable scent and signals the beginning of forgetting. The light from the sun gleams from the sky and makes the water inviting. I pull the papers out of my pocket, cautiously studying them one last time. The burnt pictures fill my mind with memories so full of life they never seemed to die out. Slowly, I drop each one off the side and watch them float steadily towards oblivion. I pull one last picture out of my pocket and scrunch it up in my hand. “This is it” I whisper, “It’s now or never”. With my fists clenched I edge towards the side. The rocks crumble at my feet and I freeze. ‘You can do this, you promised’ I think doubtfully to myself. “Breathe, just breathe”. Tears stream down my face and I tremble in fear. I wipe them off thinking to myself “show no emotion, gain no pleasure”. A pounding begins in my heart and it travels to my ears. “No regrets” I say. I close my eyes as I take that fateful step over the cliff.

The cold air rushes against me; the sharp stinging sensation I’ve wanted to feel - the rush, the excitement, and the exhilaration that rumbles through my veins. Waves crash along the rocks and they get closer each second. It’s my impending doom, my agreed fate. I let go of the picture before taking one last gulp of freedom, of life, then, the sudden immersion in the ocean. My life is now complete.

The sun drifts behind the horizon and the last bit of light is seen. It shines brighter than the brightest star. Darkness consumes the sky and the wind picks up the leaves, carrying them across the shoreline. A piece of paper floats in the sky and lands on the bench, right behind the cliff. Words are splashed across the page and a picture is centred in the middle. The words read: “Missing Child! Please Find Him!”. The picture is of me. My family had never stopped looking.

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