New Year’s Resolution

• Tanicka Dykstra, Grade 12
• Short Story
• 2012

Are you one of those people who are liked but only have a few close friends? If so, what would you do on New Years? Would you go to a party with everyone else, or would you throw your own? If you do decide to do something, or even just have family over, then I envy you.
Looking up from my perch on the rocks, I watch as the fireworks light up the sky and the sounds blast my ear drums. Every New Years, Townsville was pumping with music and fireworks, but the best lights were at the Strand. The fireworks would be set off on the ships in the water and on the beach, with smaller sparkles seen above Magnetic Island. It was beautiful.
Every year I would sit on the rocks in front of Jamaica Joes and make the same New Year’s resolution. I would pep talk myself into not being the scared little girl I have been, because what seventeen year old has no friends and wouldn’t talk to anyone? But I never changed.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t talk; it was the fact that I didn’t like the world I lived in. The pain and horror I went through with the sudden death of my mother and the abuse from my father changed my outlook on the world. I couldn’t talk to anyone from fear of him finding out and beating me unconscious, and it didn’t matter what the police or any councilor said to me, I just couldn’t risk my life for their peace of mind.
I wish I had a companion though. I wish I had a friend or even a pet. But the sad thing is I couldn’t have those simple things. My life is so screwed and the simple fact is I am alone. Not one person in this town can penetrate the haze I live in, and I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone.
Watching as people walk the Strand and celebrate the New Year, I walk the streets alone and avoid my dad. I decided my resolution would change this year. I didn’t want to be scared to go home, or to be unable to talk to people because of the consuming fear I felt. I wanted out of this town; I wanted a home where I could feel safe. The simple fact of the matter was that another year in Townsville with my abusive dad was surely going to be my last in this world.