One With The Wind

• Leilani Alivio, Grade 10, Mater Christi College
• Short Story
• 2012

Finalist in the 'Far Out 2012' competition

It was viewing night and I refused to approach her casket. I refused to see her face with the thought of her never opening up those bright hazel eyes again. My body numb as if I had developed the inability to feel the slightest touch of another person. A thousand ants could be crawling all over my face, and I would not feel a thing. I was in complete paralysis. I felt an unfathomable void in my chest without the one person I thought would always be right beside me. It all came suddenly and I didn’t acknowledge the last moments we had spent together. I was not ready to say goodbye to my mother. Standing metres from her casket, someone grabbed my hand. My dad stood there beside me. I turned to look up at him and even with tears welled up in his eyes, he smiled though he was hurting. We approached her casket at a cautious pace, though I remained hesitant. My eyes were closed the entire time, I didn’t want to open them. It took only a few minutes and the gentle tone of my dad’s reassuring voice to help me open my eyes. She seemed peaceful, resting in a perpetual slumber - so beautiful and so serene. She was buried on Thursday morning. That was the last time I laid eyes on my mother. Desolated, I constantly dwelled within a confinement of solitude. The ringing silence was deafening, and my eyes utterly arid from the seas of tears shed. Never would I imagined the pain one must endure until the coming of the day you learn to let go and move on. It was Sunday morning, one month since the loss of my mother. Waking to the expectance of another dejected day, I was then overcome by a tranquil ambience that filled my room. I walked outside, to the front door, and ran. Barefoot, t-shirt and shorts, I ran until my heart started beating a mile a minute and I was forced to stop and catch my breath. I found myself at the exact place my mother used to take me to have picnics when I was younger. Just 6 minutes down the road, right underneath the Sycamore tree and in front of lake. I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew it was something different. Something good. The sweet sound of bird song, the light touch of the sun’s rays upon my skin, and the way the grass felt in-between my toes. It all felt right. It was the first time in a long time I felt a hint of bliss. A feeling long lost forgotten, revived. The wind caressed my cheek only to wrap itself around my entire body, as if to reassure me everything would eventually be alright. Even though she was gone, I could still feel her presence. Even till today. She had gone with the wind, she was at one with the wind. And now, so was I.