Hazy Reality

• Beth Tooby, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2013

"Promise me this time." I lick away the salty liquid staining my cheeks. My finger nails dig into his skin, leaving red crescent marks along his arm. I knew it must be hurting him, but right now I couldn't care less. He lied to me, he's always lying to me, yet I choose to believe his words every single time.
His eyes appear sombre as they stare into mine. His gaze is so intense, so serious, that I have to restrain a shiver from running along my spine.
"I promise." His dull, mono tone voice is almost unnatural sounding, as if it were a recording.
"You always leave me and I don't know where you go. Why can't you stay with me for once?" His strong hands lightly remove mine from his now marked limb. I feel like melting under his touch as his thumbs begins to caress the backs of my hands. It's soothing and reassuring, everything he is not.
"You know I can't do that."
"I don't know! I wouldn't be asking if I did!" He sighs and lowers his head. I bite my lip, frustrated.
"One minute you're here and the next minute you disappear. Where do you go?"
"I don't know." I feel impatience sizzling inside of me.
"What do you mean you don't know? You're the one leaving! Where are you when I'm left here all alone?" He lifts his head and stares at me questioningly.
"What do you do when I'm gone?"
"Why are you asking me questions? I asked you fi-"
"Just answer me." His voice is ridden of concern and it makes me swallow, feeling nervous.
"I wait here. I wait for you. I never stop waiting. Sometimes you're gone for so long I don't think you'll ever come back." I have to blink to hold back yet another flood of tears threatening to over flow. I wish this didn't have to happen. If only he stayed.
"Is that all you do?" I nod in response. He sighs.
"Do you think I'm all there is to your life? You have a whole world waiting for you yet you choose to wallow in sadness and wait for the inevitable. Me. I can't stay with you always, no matter how many times I promise you."
"Why not?" I shudder as sobs from deep inside of me attempt to escape.
"Because I'm damaging you."
My eyes widen at your statement and I begin to shake my head frantically. "You're not! I don't understand what you're trying to say..." He opens his mouth to answer but suddenly looks around and swivels in various directions.
"Do you hear that? Somebody is calling you." I look around, confused.
"I don't hear anything."
"Good bye Kim." His hands tear themselves away from mine as he turns and begins to walk away. I reach out for him, trying to stop him.
"Come back!" He ignores me and keeps walking further and further away. My feet act as if they have been cemented to the ground; I can't move.
"Please!" My cries become more increasingly desperate as the seconds tick by. Who knows, maybe they were hours. I can't tell. I can't be certain of anything anymore.

I gasp as I feel somebody tugging on my arm. I've feel as though I've had a layer of myself removes, like a lizard shedding their skin.
"Kim, you have a visitor."
I blink rapidly, attempting to focus my unstable vision.



It's then that the patient notices the plain, white wall in front of them.