Darkened Enlightenment

• David Farran, Grade 11
• Short Story
• 2013

The darkness is what really brings a man to face his inner demons. The darkness is what rips through men’s false charades and leaves only their souls, raw and wild with fear.
The darkness is where I found myself. Scratching at the stones which imprisoned me beneath the crumbling earth like the stupid badger who burrowed too deeply and too carelessly.
“You all good?” The croaky old voice of Derrick Hodge called through the cavern. He flicked on the torch at the front of his helmet and light illuminated the cave.
It turned out I hadn’t been as alone in the darkness as I’d felt. A few feet away from me a kid named Stan sat quivering and hunched over like a freezing rat and, of course, old man Hodge was further back, somehow as relaxed as ever.
“Don’t touch the stones guys,” He paused and adjusted his helmet. “Could cause another collapse…”
“Oh …” Stan whimpered desperately and pulled his knees to his chest.
Hodge opened his mouth to say something but it closed almost as quickly as our exit had.
“Too deep… I knew we were pushing our luck.” A flurry of words escaped my mouth almost by themselves. I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded despite the helpless distress I felt. Maybe Hodge felt the same.
“If this cave collapses in a few seconds, and I don’t get to see my daughter again…” Hodge paused and took in a deep breath, “and you boys survive… I just want you to tell her that,” Hodge paused again and I thought I saw him wipe a tear from his eye. “I’m okay with her dating a girl. I still love her.”
I nodded and for maybe the first time in my life gave somebody a genuine, heartfelt smile.
“Same goes for me,” I licked my lips slowly. “I want him to know that I love him. I also want my wife to know that I know she cheated on me with our neighbour. And the mailman. It’s weird though, in the face of death I somehow don’t even care.” My voice faded into an awkward silence and I wondered if I’d been too personal.
“No… I feel the same.” Hodge croaked. “I could be a few moments away from death and I feel somehow peaceful. It’s almost like I have a clearer picture of what’s important…”
A small laugh escaped me. He had somehow summed it up. In the face of darkness and in the face of death I felt like I saw what really mattered. Not my desires, not my money. Not even my comfort. In the face of things that mattered, not even my stupid little life was important.
What really matters is something that can only be found in the darkness. You won’t find it until you go there yourself.