Heaven And Back

• Tiffany Holyoak, Grade 5
• Short Story
• 2013

Heaven and Back:
My mind flicks over and over as I run the metal over my skin. It is a good way for me to escape all the pain, hate, hurt and rejection I feel. The blood lingers on top of my skin as I leave it to settle and dry eventually. It rocks me to think that my own family would disown because of my doings. I harshly push the thought away and continue paint of my canvas. The blade is my brush and my body is my own personal canvas. I begin to cry. My tears mix with my blood and turn it a crimson colour. My eyes ache as I give a short, laugh. I drop the blade and walk out of my room. I roughly pulled down my shirt and wince as the fabric catches on an old, scared cut. I continue to walk as I hear the TV going. “I’m gonna go to bed, okay?” “Okay.” I walk to my room again and get quickly under my sheets. I lay rubbing the long patch of cuts that dominantly take over my arm. ‘Who would care for a girl that is fat, cuts herself, refuses to eat sometimes and hate herself and her body?’ I think. ‘Nobody will ever love me.’ My lips curve as I begin to cry and frown. Why did I have to be like this? What did I do to ever deserve this stupid, pathetic life? I whimper to myself as I slowly go out of consciousness. ‘It’s black. And dark. “Hello, is anybody there?” “Tiffany, come over here.” “Why?” “Because my dear if you do all your troubles in the whole world will be gone.” “Okay.” I pad my feet down harshly walking to where the voice came from. I started to say something but began to fall. I hit the ground with a thud and woke up.’ It felt like a bolt of lightning shot up my spine. I sat up straight jiggered and rigid. ‘Just a bad dream. Don’t worry about it.’ I lie back down and fell deep out of consciousness and never woke back up ever again. I lay completely still. My soul grifting out of my body. ‘It’s cold, too cold to handle. My heart slows as I come to a white meets black area. “What’s going on?” “You’re dead my darling. You are going to heaven.” “I don’t want to. Leave me alone!” Hands grabbed at me but I started running. I hit something and dropped.’ My eyes stirred open as I lay still in my bed. My body cold, my mind blank. ‘I just died and came back.’