You Have A Voice

• Nadine Powell, Grade 12
• Short Story
• 2013

You have a voice, but cannot use it. You must remain unheard for the next 40 hours.

I communicated, but not how I wanted to. I wanted to verbally express my opinions rather than playing around with gestures that were constantly confusing to those around me. My only way of talking to my friends was pen and pad, flicking the pages of my book and trying to find the words to say. When I accidently spoke, I felt embarrassed and like a failure, but I decided to let it slide and continue on my journey through the land of speechlessness.
I constantly wanted to ask questions about things I didn’t understand, but couldn’t due to the fact I have given up my voice. The idea of isolation and separation from the regular world doesn’t even cover the feelings I experienced. I walked through the hallways and wanted to speak out to tell others I was behind them, but I was pushed around and still unable to say “ouch” or “watch out buddy.” Normally people can’t get me to shut up but I had to remain silent for the rest of my time. Whilst it allowed my voice box to rest, my emotions were tormenting me as I couldn’t involve myself in conversations, by the time I had finished writing my comment they had moved on to another subject. Trying to express a long and meaningful sentence in the maximum of 4 words is harder than it seems.

It was amazing how much I missed having a voice, not being able to sing in the car nor ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. This speechlessness, brought on by a fundraising act, made me realise how horrible it was when you couldn’t be heard; people taking advantage of the fact you could not speak up for yourself nor could you fight back verbally. My efforts to remain silent were breaking at the seems by the end of the first day, not only had my ‘friends’ made the game of ‘make her talk’ but they had also managed to win the game 5 times. I hadn’t even passed the 24-hour mark and had spoken 5 times or more. The phrase that best describes my feelings was you never know how important or useful something is until you lose it. Although I didn’t lose my voice, I came to understand that I used my voice every second of the day, which was more than I originally thought. I used it to sing my favourite songs, compliment people, and stand up for myself.

The terrifying thing about not having a voice was, I CHOSE to give up mine. Others may not have that option. Whether from a cruel dictatorship or from the time they were born. They hide their speech via hidden meanings in poems or they use sign language, which has to be translated. The truth is being able to speak and have an input in Australia is the best gift. The human ability to communicate verbally or via other methods shouldn’t be barricaded nor should it create a barricade.

You have a voice. Through signing, writing, speaking or singing. You will be heard from this day forth.