I Am Nothing Special

• Meagan Potts, Grade 9
• Poetry
• 2014

I'm nothing special
I'm not a great memory you show to friends or one you look at in a beautiful photo album neatly covered in wrapping and arranged to perfection,
I'm not that special
I'm like the memory of your seventh hair cut, discarded and forgotten like the small strands of hair you sliced off that day
I am not like the first kiss you share with the one you love and the overwhelming feeling of warmth and joy but the whispered goodbye that cracks your heart like a large void full of every moment and every memory you both once shared, slowly mellowing and mushing into one big mess of regrets and mistakes
I am nothing special, I'm a silent stomp in the dark cracking mirrors and breaking the stable bonds between walls, crumbling all of your securities, leaving you with only ashes to glue back together, but it blows away with a loud storm rummaging through everything you've ever given gained and lost
I am not that feeling your overwhelmed with when you hold your loved ones close to your chest, when for a split second you both become one, I'm that feeling when you let go, the feeling of loss and emptiness leaving you wanting more
I'm nothing special, I'm just a spec of dust that not so gracefully forgets how to float, the floor beneath me welcomes me home, I fall with a silent thud I'm home
I am nothing special I go unnoticed trapped by my words that scrape like a jagged knife from my dry mouth turning into a mumble or a yell, screeching and crashing in the ears of those around me
If I vanished everyone would slowly forget my face, my sound my inability to be special, almost in an instant I'd be a vague memory replaced, like a lost photograph or your 7th haircut, no one wants to remember things that aren't amazing and fun, things that aren't special.
I'm defiantly not special, I am the way I am.. maybe accepting this was what put out the fire, made me vague and dull and ripped my ability to be what everyone wants to remember from my trembling hands
To be special.