I Used To Be Indecisive, But Now I'm Not So Sure

• Taylah Adam, Grade 7
• Short Story
• 2014

I breathe in and out, attempting to clear my mind and get rid of all of the doubt and worry. I have to get this over with; procrastinating, dawdling, this isn't going to get me anywhere.
I soothingly rub my temples and start to think.
I have several options, so many choices in fact, that the very thought of choosing creates a wave of overwhelming emotions that threaten to drown me. This choice could change my life for the better or worse.
I begin to pace up and down, thinking about the possible decision I have to make. This isn't a simple matter, it is serious and significant. I have to be rational about my judgements, as the outcome could affect me greatly in ways that are impossible to imagine. If I don’t make the right decision now, there is no turning back.
There are numerous directions I can take; but taking the wrong one could be an inexpiable mistake.
I try to think of the possible results or consequences of my selections. The wrong choice could end in disappointment; leave me feeling guilty or even anxious. The mere thought of making the wrong decision makes me feel sick to the stomach. On the other hand, making the right choice could fill me up with overwhelming joy; it could make me so happy, jubilant and euphoric. I would rather the latter emotions, but who knows how accurate my intuition is.
Continuing to pace, I start to rule out some options. This seems like the hardest decision of my life.
I have one chance, one chance that I can’t screw up, yet a nagging thought in the back of my mind keeps telling me that I might.
Time drags on, every second counts.
The possibilities swim around in my head, like a school of fish trying to navigate their way through the murky depths of my mind. I feel like the world is on my shoulders, the responsibility of making such a decision weighing me down.
Oh, what shall I do?
I start to chew my nails, a habit I thought I had grown out of long ago. I take my hand away from my mouth and clench a fist; my long fingernails dig into the sweaty palm of my hand.
This has felt like a lifetime, but the clouds of confusion seem to be clearing, a shimmer, a faint idea. It’s just fear and uncertainty that’s holding me back. I’m afraid my decision could leave me feeling sad, heart-broken and regretful.
It’s been several minutes now, the pressure to make a final decision has become too much. I can’t stand irresolute and uncertain forever.
So… with a deep breath, I loosen my shoulders, exhale, and face the cashier…
“I’ll take the Mars Bar please.”