Darkness Echoing Through The Soul And Out The Eyes

• Claudia Jocumsen, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2015

I’m not happy. I’m sitting in my room emotionally drained. The school day was filled with emotions of anxiety, intimidation and embarrassment. I’m being bullied, trampled on for another’s enjoyment. My other friends only ever stare at me like they are gazing at a dark hole, sometimes I feel like that, a dark hole waiting to slowly be filled with light but somehow this dark hole is getting spaced in, squeezed from any chances of a glimpse of light. It’s loosing hope. I’m losing hope. This is the part where I tell you everything about me, my problems, how I will resolve those problems and a happy metaphor of not only a glimpse of light but a whole sunrise picking me up and making me full of life again. However that won’t be happening, I’ll remain hopelessly lifeless with passion that’s deteriorating into hopes and dreams that no shooting star can replenish. I think of death and the possible relief it would give me, I think of the people who need me and then I think even more strongly about death and how peaceful I’d lay. One afternoon I just stopped and stared at the buses and various modelled cars that drove past, I took a step back from the curb. As I walk I see more chances of a way out of the darkness. I then looked at the different train lines that passed; I sat down and just gazed at the yellow line “DO NOT GO BEYOND YELLOW LINE” that in my eyes distinguished my future, to leap or not to leap? My life is in my hands, a saying that I’d heard quite a lot but never really stopped to think about. People’s lives end every day. My life could miraculously end whenever it truly wanted to but yet I’m still here, still breathing. I’m not too sure if I still want to be here, if I still want to breathe. If the world is as cruel to keep me in its game the colour palette should be so kind to develop, my eyes only ever paint external darkness that grows to echo through my thoughts. But it wasn’t always like this, I’ll be honest, I used to be sure of myself, but now I don’t know who I am or why I was placed here on earth, what is my purpose or am I just a failed tester? I’ve zoned out, my perspective is dark but I’m now dark, I just wish someone would light a match, give me a starting point to end this hollow feeling of confusion and anger. Why did I get chosen to live this life? Why do I sit here typing my pathetic thoughts? Why do I even try? Through my eyes I see darkness, I hope you’ve seen light...