Jack The Bear Slayer And Pals

• Angus Tolmie, Grade 6
• Short Story
• 2015

It was a nice, cloudless evening, when Jack the bear slayer was playing on Russia’s version of the XBOX one, which in Russia is called the XBOX ultimate. Suddenly, a duck head smashed through the window and burst into smoke. Almost as quick as the smoke starts it stops. There, stands Jake the wolf slayer.

‘Hello Jack’ he says. ‘I have not seen you for a while.’
‘Well you do live in Scotland’. Jack says knowingly. The two men chat for a while, until they see the time, and realise they need to go.
‘Krashnikof cannot come today. I think he is grounded’. Jack tells Jake.
‘Ah, well his mum does like to ground him.’ ‘Shall we go without him?’
Jack agrees, and the two hop on the bus to bear fishing.

The bus ride was mildly entertaining; as Jake told Jack about the time he thought a wolf was disguised as the sacred magic duck. The story ended with Jake cutting off the ducks head, and finding out it wasn't a wolf, but the sacred magic duck.
‘And that’s why I am wanted in 94 countries with a 1 billion dollar price on my head.’ Jake finishes. Jake was not sure he believed him, but it did explain why he was wanted in 94 countries. ‘Jack?’ he asks.
‘Yes?’
‘This bus is going quite fast.’
‘Yes it is.’ Jack says. It turns out that the bus was actually going at three-hundred kilometres per hour. 'It is not supposed to go this fast ' Jack tells him. ‘When it does, the people in it often... get very hurt.’ But Jake was already on his way to the front seat of the bus. ‘What are you doing?’ asks Jack. But Jake had just halted next to the driver’s seat.
‘I found our problem… its Greer.’ Jake tells Jack, though his voice sounds faraway.

For those of you who don’t know, Greer is a teenager who is very bad at driving. She always has headphones on, and the music is either mute or deafening loud, and she chooses deafening loud. Greer was born blind, and still is.

‘I have a plan!’ Jake yells. In a flash of light, where Greer sat just a moment ago, is a goldfish. ‘I turned Greer into a goldfish with the magic duck head I got from beheading the sacred duck of magic!’
‘BUT NOW THERES NO DRIVER!’
‘Oh.’
‘WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?’
‘Dunno.’ All of a sudden, Krashnikof dives through the bus window. He tells them how he was watching a seventeen hour YouTube video on how to drive a bus, and how he can save them. And he does.

They postponed the bear fishing holiday, and drove back to Krashnikof’s house, where they were greeted by his mother.
‘Krashnikof, you are grounded for using up all the internet on 17 hour YouTube video on how to drive a bus. Go to your room!’