A Ticking Time Bomb

Merit in the 'Read Write Repeat 2015' competition

It was so dark. The emptiness was overwhelming. All I could hear or think about was my uncontrollable breathing and to not allow the darkness to over come me.

A knocking at my cell door brought me out of the deep pit known as my mind. The observation door slid open to reveal two malevolent eyes, “I think she’s just dreaming”, a deep voice stated. He must’ve heard me talking while I was sleeping. The tiny door shut and I was left alone with my taunting conscience, the only comfort coming from the rags I wore.

It has been six months since I was put in the Blackhead Mental Institution. I was put for trying to commit suicide; father thought it was for the best. I thought it was because they were scared. Scared of e and what I might do. I pulled at the necklace around my neck and let my thoughts consume me. My mother had given me the locket before I was put in here. It was hers after being passed down by her mum. She said it represents all the days that should have been but never were, the life I could’ve lived but never did.

The walls of the room started to close in, my forehead started to drip with sweat. It was only a matter of time. My mind started to wander back to the memories that I had tried so hard to forget, it was the first stage. My chest suddenly took on a heaviness which unsteadied my breathing. I struggled to fill my lungs with the much needed oxygen and began to feel light headed. It was only a matter of time. The memories started to seep through the cracks of my barriers. I tried.

My screams echoed through the empty halls, waking other in the area. Either staff didn’t hear my wails or they choose to ignore a crazy girl’s cry. My screams never wavered or ceased and the echoes no differ. No one ever asked me why I tried to commit suicide, the doctor always said the pain would come and go but at times it would come so painfully it would be unbearable, I always laughed, smiled and said, “I must be a ticking time bomb”.

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