Sadness And Despair

• Zixin Wang, Grade 6
• Short Story
• 2015

People say that when you're ill you should stay home until you're well again. I can't do that. I can't lock myself up in a little room as sick as a dog. I'm not physically ill, just mentally. My heart aches and my body feels empty. All my hope and laughter is washed away in a little corner of my body. I can't smile truly. I can't laugh. I've forgotten how to.
They say you shouldn't go out because your illness might be contagious. So instead, I give out a fake smile. At least that will stop the sadness and despair from entering other people's lives. But whenever I do that, it feels like I'm lying to everyone around me. Giving them the impression that I am fine. I'm not.
They also say that after a few weeks you will feel well again. My heart can't heal, with me knowing that I will never call someone 'mother' ever again. My mind can't cope with the fact that I will never see her again. Her dazzling blue eyes; as big as swimming pools. Her luscious, blonde hair, that I used to curl up in my fingers, as I sat in her lap, next to the warm fireplace. The scent of the melting candles and the sweet voice of her telling me a story. I will never experience that ever again.
I want her back. I would do anything. I would do anything to hear the melodic voice of hers. Her precise movements, as she carefully creased the edges of the paper plane. Her agile body as she danced elegantly with my father.
My happiness belonged to her. I hope this overwhelming despair will leave eventually. I'd rather have endless colds that feel this pain. Sadness.