I Must Die, But...

• Emma Crawford, Grade 6
• Short Story
• 2016

During the third of December 1854, the Eureka Goldfields turned into a place of war and death. To survive prospectors had to be strong and mentally healthy. This would have been a problem for me. My name is Henry John Parker and I have poor mental health.
I had to deal with two battles while most people on the battle fields had to deal with one. The battle inside my head was hard enough but the Eureka Stockade was even harder to win. Sometimes I pointed my gun or even stole someone else’s gun, to my head but didn't shoot. One of my problems could be I don't know my mother nor father because I was abandoned at birth under a tree. Since then, I’ve been counting down to my death.
As I'm fighting two battles I glare into the burning flames and ashes of licenses. A part of me is wanting to jump in and burn myself to death while the more sensible side of me is telling me to wait while the inside battle is still brewing. I wonder how long I may survive in this environment, minutes or hours.
It is getting harder not to kill myself. Blood covers the battle fields but it wasn't my blood. My feet were looking like a field of poppies with no grass but still not a drop of blood has oozed out from my skin. No wound great or small appears on my body. I am the person who has almost committed suicide over ten times in one day but yet no visible sign of injury.
I sing a song, a song of death. I should have been on the floor with no blood left in me but no signs of injury shall appear on my body. I am untouchable but I can be touched. Too many words and images clutter my brain. I can't even see my nose clearly. My vision is blurry and my heart has smashed out of my chest but is still inside my body. I feel like I am swept off my feet but come crashing back down on to the hard, rocky ground.
I wriggle my upper arms and slowly my lower arms can be moved off the ground. Blood rushes to my fingers and soon my arms can work. My chest and back start to shake and I can't stop it. My legs don't work but ever so slightly my toes start to work but very quickly stop. I can sit up but can't see a thing even with my eyes wide open. I seem very quiet for a battle field with guns getting fired.
5 Minutes Later...
I felt a cold fluid rolling down my stomach I thought it might be blood but I can’t see it. My heart misses a beat, then another, then another and soon heart stops beating. I know what comes next. DEATH!