Rain

• Nicole Pejic-Mercel, Grade 10
• Short Story
• 2016

Darkness presents itself before me, it is as lightless as death. My gaunt legs carry me down the seaside at a lifeless pace, thoughts constantly running through my mind like clockwork.
‘Where is she?’
‘What is she doing right now?’
‘Does she miss me like I miss her?’
My hand pats the left pocket of my jeans reaching for that unwanted object, a frequent habit of mine nowadays. It feels as though the weight of the world is in that small, square box that I continue to carry with me. Thunder clouds clap their giant hands and I taste the first droplets of rain as they cascade down my face. The salt from the frenzied sea stings my nostrils as the scent of freedom fills my body, however it is not making me calm. She was usually the key to my placidity, always my anchor; reeling me back into the reality of life. That abhorrent feeling presents itself in my stomach and heart for the thousandth time in the past three weeks and I force myself to think of anything but her… No such luck. I pause at a desultory spot in the sand and let the steady rain wash over and away from me…just as she had those weeks ago. She left so effortlessly, it was as though the past three years had meant nothing to her, as though she had never loved me or wanted to pursue a future with me. The crashing of the waves reminds me of her voice when it was angry, I could not remember a time in the last six months where she wasn't angry at me. I had never thought to ask her what was really wrong, one of my many faults. I let out an intense wail, “Why wasn't I good enough for you” I sob whilst quickly yanking the box out of my pocket as if it were a bomb. I stare at the cold, metal ring in my hands and anger washes over me like the rain. I vividly remember the day I confessed my love to her. I can still recall her blank, emotionless face staring down at me, her cold voice as she said the word I was not expecting. I stumble clumsily down the sand bank, shaking my head roughly as though I could shake the memory of her out of me, the icy water welcomes me as I throw the box with all my might into the dark sea and collapse, the waves engulf me. The sound of the rain uniting with the waves is all that I can hear, the night seems to only sound of water. The rain is torrential now, beating down on me like a whip, I can feel my body being cleansed from the memories, pain and thoughts of her. She is like rain, both a fading memory and a distant promise.