Dad Needs Help!!!

Dear Psycho Therapist,

I'm having very reluctant issues with my father. He's ....... Um how do I put it... Just a little C?R?A?Z?Y?!!!!!!!! I need your treatment before its too late to help him.
His the kind of guy that thinks of only himself and nothing that goes on around him. Mum even told me that one night she woke up and dad had vanished to thin air!!!! But no she was wrong, we found him that night nude riding MY brand new MOTORBIKE!! His absolutely and most definitely deranged!!!

I know this disease as get-your-dad-out-of-your-house-alitis!!

Mums even thought about a divorce but then considered that he'd be as lonely as a cloud in the sky without her. Well mum does like to assume things! He's an embarrassment to me and my family. We can't even go out and eat a simple meal without him either being racist at Chinese restaurant or salsa dancing on the table if we have Mexican.
I wrote this letter to express my worry toward my dad. If you have not noticed, a lot of exclamation marks!! That's because I'm scared, can't even leave the car to go to school with out him calling out across the courtyard to a teacher.'Hey, where did you get that attractive dress from??!!'
Do I have your full attention yet!! My friends wouldn't drop it for a whole year!
If not then read about this. The time he set our house a light. Now don't get me wrong dad is a person you could live without but sometimes you need him.
So I was baking my famous caramel mocha fudge cake and I was at the end of topping it with a professional chocolate caramel plates. This is the part of the method were you have to be so extremely careful and dad, at that exact moment did one simply stupid thing to mess it all up.
Running at lightning speed, he shoots through the kitchen, knocks my perfect sculpture out of my hands, as it smashes to the floor he picks it up and chucks it in the oven on HIGH for an HOUR!! By half an hour, it stated smoking out the sides and the oven then burst into flames!!!!! Can you imagine how I explained the problem to the fire brigade.

Thanks for reading my letter and I hope you can do something with him. Mental home, grans house, anywhere but here!!!! I'm not sure if it runs in the family but I would like medical records just in case ill get it. But if I am to get this insidious disease please tell me!

P.S. Please don't tell my mum about this letter. She'll go off her nut and maybe even turn out like dad!!
P.P.S. Maybe to stop this dilemma you should print my name on the front of the letter. It's Sophie Williams and I live at 74 Walnut Street.

Thank you

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