You Said You Would Never Leave Me...

• Louis Shapiro, Grade 11
• Short Story
• 2016

I did. I lied. Perhaps we were never together, anyway. Although it felt like that. I'm sorry, you know. Even now I still feel alone. But I think I'm better off without you. I have a job now. A steady income, a stability that I was never able to achieve when we were together. Sometimes I miss that crazy madness we had when we were together. Everything was just a bit more, when you were there. Colours were bright and vivid like a fever dream. It would have been nice if we could have stayed that way, together, forever. But we both know that you were slowly killing me.

I said I would never leave you. I'm sorry. But you had to go. It was a challenge, at first. Being alone that is. I think we had been together for so long that perhaps I forgot what silence really means. You have to be silent to appreciate some things. But the silence can grow deep and dark too. It was never silent, when you were with me. Perhaps that was a blessing. Perhaps it was a curse. I would not know. I guess you could tell me. If you were still here.

I love you. I miss you. I hate you, too.

But life goes on. It feels a bit like a betrayal, killing you so that I can move on. But I had to do it. Together, we were killing ourselves. Perhaps years later I will look back gladly. But not for now. I'm sorry. I said I'd never leave you. But I had to. I hope you understand. Although you're already gone.

I need to go now. It's time for me to take my medication - the psychiatrist tells me my condition is improving. Farewell, old friend.