Leo

• Daro Sim, Grade 10
• Short Story
• 2017

He was sad, he was always sad. However, this time, this sadness felt different. Leo didn’t quite understand how it was different but it was. He guessed, he never really fully understood himself. No matter how much he thought he knew about himself, he was always proved wrong. This time, this sadness felt overwhelming, like every sadness that he kept bottled up finally reached its limit and combusted thus it came rushing entirely at him. He didn’t know what to do, this thing happened to him before but he always forgot how he got through it.
He was lying alone on his bed, wasn’t thinking of anything. He was trying not to think of anything. Tears streamed down his face, he didn’t bothered to wipe it off, nobody was watching, nobody was ever exactly watching him. Or at least, the person that others were watching wasn’t Leo at all. He put up a mask that would covered up who he really was. What he was inside, he didn’t know for sure himself, maybe that’s why he hid himself because there’s nothing really to hide so he had to put up a mask to cover the fact. He wanted to know what he really was and he also wanted someone to figured out who he was for him. No one bothered, no one ever, even when he desperately needed someone. Well, maybe some did try to approach but never stayed long enough for Leo to be ready. They just gave up after a while, Leo hated this, he hated that human is such a species of impatience. Why couldn’t they just waited? Or maybe, it’s not all their fault, maybe it’s partially Leo’s fault. Leo should break out of his mask and made the second move after they made the first. However, he couldn’t figure out how to, he didn’t understand fully and he also didn’t really know how to explain it to others, the reason why he couldn’t do anything about the fact that he’s friendless and lonely and desperately needed interaction and connection.
Human is a species of social connections, they need it to survive, it’s essential, no matter how some wouldn’t admit it. However, no matter what, some couldn’t know how to make these connections. Maybe that’s the reason those people are so hopeless and despairing, connections are essential for survival and because they didn’t have it and didn’t know how to make it, it’s slowly eating them that they began to give up because of their lack of something vital for survival. Leo knew he was one of those people. He was sad. He was desperate. He was hopeless. Just because he was, doesn’t mean he wanted or liked it, he hated it, it’s just, he couldn’t help it. There’s a lot of things that people just couldn’t help it.