I Matter

• Yusir Almosewy, Grade 10
• Short Story
• 2017

I took a quick glimpse around the room. Beep Beep Beep. A sharp needle was sitting deep inside the back of my hand. Beep Beep Beep. Wires hanging all around me. Beep Beep Beep. The faint sobbing of my mother. Beep Beep Beep. The nurse’s soft calming voice telling my mother everything will be okay. Beep Beep Beep.
It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have listened to them anyway. Their harsh words had gotten to me, just what they wanted, to make themselves happy and to boost their ego. My mother always taught me that it doesn’t matter what other people think of me cause I’m different, it just makes me more unique and to stand out. I couldn’t help the way I was. I was born twice the weight of an average baby and never got skinnier. Honestly, I never really cared about my weight and I didn’t mind how I looked like.
I never got teased until the middle of year 5, I didn’t really care until the beginning of the year when I constantly got called names. I would always get called hippo or fatty; “Here comes Hannah the hippo” or “Hey fatty,” I would always hear these getting called out in the hallways when I would walk into school. I don’t know why people bullied me, probably to try and act tough and seem big around their friends or just to boost their ego by putting someone else down.
Eventually I gave up and tried starving myself to get skinnier. I would only eat a few fruits and vegetables a day and drink plenty of water. I didn’t know I was going to end up laying in the hospital bed slowly fading away. I had read the internet several times saying it was very dangerous to starve yourself and doctors did say there were some consequences but I didn’t listen because I didn’t know I was going to end up like this.
It’s all my fault that I’m laying here in hospital. Beep Beep Beep. It’s all my fault that there’s a needle deep inside the back of my hand. Beep Beep Beep. It’s all my fault my mum's crying.
It doesn’t matter what other people think of me, what truly matters is that I love my self for who I am. I shouldn’t listen to bullies, all they want it to put me down to make themselves happier and seem tough to others. They don’t matter, I do. I guess I had learnt my lesson…