Vocalise

• Lola Sargasso, Grade 7
• Short Story
• 2017

I'm lying on a hospital bed, the fluorescent lightbulbs gleaming above. There are five doctors and two nurses, but I'm all alone. Why did I decide to do this? Doubt fills my weary mind. I am going to die. One of the doctors puts a plastic thing over my mouth and nose. Soon, it will be over. Whether I live or die depends on this. My eyelids grow heavy. Goodbye.

Yes, I am a mute. Shut up. I don't want your fake pity, or your offers of help. Just because I am unable to talk, doesn't mean I am stupid. I see your sly smiles and sniggers. But maybe I am getting ahead of myself. Maybe you are really nice. Maybe. I am Emma Gennaois. Pleased to meet you. Having made this brilliant speech, I look around. Mama sighs. Papa groans. Clará grins. My new principal, on the other hand, just looks confused. 'Emma,' Mama reminds me 'Mr Gresham, your teacher, can't read sign.' With a sullen look, I pull out my poster. I made it when I was six. I hate it. It says; Hello. My name is Emma. I have a little sister, Clará. My parents think it is sweet. It is not. 'Emma, take Clará and go home.' Papa commands. Taking little Clará's hand, I walk down the street.

About ten minutes after we get home, Mama and Papa arrive. They look flustered. When they see me, they smile. Both their grins don't reach their eyes. 'Emma, please join us in the kitchen.' Mama whispers. 'Can I come too, Mama?' Clará begs. 'No!' Booms my usually quiet Papa. Looking shocked, Clará goes. Both my parents turn to me now. I gulp. 'Little Em, we have something to tell you.' Mama tries to stifles a sob, but I hear her. What is it, I signal. Papa starts. 'Emma, your new school will only accept you if you speak. There is a certain operation that can enable you to talk. But we won't do anything without your permission. We don't want to change you. What do you think?' What do I think, I wonder. A battle rages within me. I have longed to speak all my life, but an operation? What seems like hours passes. Finally, I shakily sign, okay.

I am lying here, in this dank hospital bed. So scared, so unsure. My eyelids waver, and I know I will soon be gone. For better or worse. I sigh a little sigh. Goodbye, mute Emma. Hello, everything.

My mind whirls in a drug induced fog. I don't know when is now, what is who and which is up. My memories flutter and fall like autumn leaves. My mind is a vast ocean, and I am slowly sinking. Slowly, I shudder and rise to the surface. Clará appears. 'Mama, Mama!" She cries 'Emma is awake!' Mama and Papa come rushing up to me. I beam at my family. 'Ma-ma' I say. All is well.