That One Light

• Eve Fletcher, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2017

Depression can consume anyone’s life, from young to middle aged and even the elderly. It has engulfed me in darkness and despair. It has taken away everything.

The depression struck through me like a bullet when I woke up. It felt like the world around me has shattered and the scattered sharp pieces turned against me, slashing me with guilt. I had no energy in my body to get out of bed, all the hope for an excellent day quickly faded away.

Once I got up, I felt terrible, both on the inside and the outside. I felt absolutely disgusted with myself of how fat, ugly and groggy I was even though I was none of those things. I changed into some comfortable dark clothes and stiffly walked out of my room.

I stepped cautiously down the stairs with my wobbly, jelly legs and faced my mum. She stared at me in horror and I couldn’t blame her. My ivory black hair was a complete tangled birds nest and my normal bright colourful clothes were replaced with the darkest clothes I owned. My mom opened her pale dried lips to say something but then protested against it, she silently sent me off to school.

Once I walked into school with no strength or hope, I felt everyone’s beady eyes watching me like a snake, judging me as I walked past them. Girls giggled and sneered at the sight of me, they started whispering names like:
“Loser...…” “Ugly…….” “Sumo…….”
I felt emotionless like nothing made sense. I only knew that I was still alive by the tear droplets that flowed down my cheeks like a waterfall. I heard them start to laugh even more and that’s when I ran away.

I failed the exam we did in science; I couldn’t answer any of the questions that were on there. I didn’t have the courage to talk when my friends talked to me. They left me that day, telling me to “never talk or look at them again.”

My voice had left me. It had surrendered to the deep, black hole where all unnecessary items go. Just like school, friendship, appearance and love. I felt invisible to everyone around me and myself.

This was my daily life, my appearance for three years. I had no hope, no future and no life. I felt like giving up, I couldn’t live like this. The pain, self-harming and despair hurt too much.

But, I have that one light, that one voice that shines light to the deepest, darkest corners of my heart. His voice, like the immortal flame, makes the world around me bright and joyful. His emerald green eyes burn into my dull, ocean blue eyes each day with hope. I always have a Cheshire Cat grin on my face when he is around. The love that I thought was lost reappears in my heart every day.

He is my everything and I won’t let him down, like I did with my own life.