Ocean Eyes

• Hannah Hutchinson, Grade 10
• Short Story
• 2018

Time.
Time is meaningless when I’m with him.
It’s like every second fades into nothing as my heartbeat syncs into his as one.
It doesn’t matter how fast the sun is setting behind the clouds, beneath the trees, past the mountains, or how many times it wishes the horizon farewell. It’s like, as long as he’s in my life, I could never get tired of waiting.

If only he knew the extent of my feelings—he’s never heard the word ‘love’ leave my lips to his own. I watch him, and the more I do, the more I fall deeper into the burning fire that is my heart.
I’m scared. I promised myself not to fall for another again, but I broke that promise—for him. I have my heart left out in the open on the table; and it’s all I have.
The risk I’m taking—and it seems so impossible that he would ever step forward for it, but I don’t want to cross the boundary line, in fear of him mistaking my intentions.
I don’t want his bay-brown eyes to turn away from me.

His eyes. His ocean-like eyes. They’re deep, and pure, and hold many mysteries that even his closest friends could not solve. Sometimes, they speak to me, speaking in tongues that I can’t quite understand, a sound like the distant crashing of ocean waves onto the shore. They hold their own unknown magic. It’s as if they try to tell me something, but always give up. I never know what he’s feeling, and it frustrates me. I’m not in control anymore.

He causes my lungs to shrink and my heart to ache, until I can’t take it and I run away, and I’m left feeling useless and weak.
I’ll sit alone in my room the next day, lingering on his words or how his smile lit up the room, as the sound of birds singing, the echo of a dog’s bark, and the distant hum of cars passing by play from outside my window; sunlight peering in through the gaps of my blinds. And somehow, I always feel better.
I can’t get him off my mind, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. Writing it down into a poem, or expressing its essence into a thousand songs, would never be enough. There will always be more.

I can’t shake the thought of never being held in your arms, or never feeling your kiss against my flushed cheek. Or one day seeing a beautiful girl around your arm, knowing it may be too late. I would hate to be the cause of your smile disappearing, or burdening those around you by not being able to hear your laugh.
I simply struggle with myself.

I love you.

And as much as I want you,
All I truly want, is for you to be happy.