Falling: An Insight

• Isaac Fisher, Grade 6B
• Short Story
• 2018

Here I am. Standing on the edge of the drop. Below me, the refreshing bliss of death. Above me, tiresome, aggravating life. Is this my time to go? Have I spent enough time on Earth? I know, I am only fourteen, but what else am I going to do with my life? Work? What about my parents? Would their life be easier without me? “Raven! Get back from the edge!” Mum. Wouldn’t she have to worry less about putting food on the table if I jumped? “Listen to your mother, boy!” Dad. He would have to work less if I took the plunge. But is it worth it? Wouldn’t it be harder for my parents? They spent thirteen years on me and then I just die? I think I’ll live… for now.
I kept living, though life was a little different. Every time I get close to the edge everything goes awry. Mum made me change schools again. I think she believes that it is school that is driving me to do what I do, but it isn’t. What it is, I’d rather not tell. Though it might help if I did, I don’t have nearly the courage to share. Sorry.
At school I like to let the lessons drift by. Sometimes it is hard, for I am already known as ‘dreamy-face’ and ‘starry-eyes’. And more come. “Hey stone-head! How ya goin’? Oh wait, ya can’t hear me can ya!” That kid has been pestering me for a while. I think his name is something beginning with ‘D’. Danny? Derek? I don’t really pay attention to people's names. Even though he is in my homeroom. But even though there are some idiots out there, my life is getting better. Everything is working. I didn’t think it would, but it is.
Darkness. Despair. Nothing left. How could someone go from having everything to nothing. My mother is dead. My father is in depression. All thanks to one man. One man in a car. Out of control. Straight down Bourke Street. Why? Is this because of what my parents have done? What did I do? Why couldn’t this happen to someone else? And it is my fault. I asked for another pair of shoes. She went. She died. Nothing more. Nothing less. I killed my mother. I am worth nothing. As Robert J Oppenheimer said, “I am death. A killer of worlds.”
For taking a life, I give a life. I am standing on the edge of the drop. Below me, equality. Above me, A life full to the brim of sadness and resentment. What can hold me back? I am… I will always be…
Falling.