I Will...Eventually

• Nell Payne, Grade 7
• Short Story
• 2019

I step closer towards the edge of the wharf, walking. Slowly. My legs won't let me go any faster than they are going. I walk, step by step by step. The thought of me looking into the water is dreaded. Everyone used to say to me, I looked like my mum. My mum that isn't with me anymore, she can't help me, she can't teach me and she can't listen to me.

All because of Damien. If I look into the water I might see my mum. The person I haven't seen in so long. My head is spinning, my insides are all twisted, my legs feel like jelly. I turn my head, to face the beginning of the wharf. I try and force myself to stay, but I can't. I run. Damien's face was in my mind and I couldn't get it out. My mum isn't with me because he decided that doing donuts near people in his new flashy Coupé was a good idea. Damien. Damien. Damien. That's all I could think of as I run towards my home.

My home, wasn't really a home, I mean if you count a sleeping bag a box and a few bits of pillow a home them sure. I have lost my home, I couldn't pay rent, it was just too expensive. My dad left me when I was 3 and my mum...

I always went down to the wharf, gaining enough courage to look into the water. The water was my only mirror. I never looked. I couldn't.

People always said I looked like my mum, but they never said anything to my one and only sister. At least I thought she was my sister. All she seems to do it drive around in her 37 cars, never to realise that I'm here without a home, without a mum, without a dad, and without a sister.

I have attacked my sister all throughout my life. In my head that is, I couldn't find her in person. If I could I would know what a great, big, warm hug feels like. After being mad at my sister for long enough, I knew that it was time, I knew I would eventually do it. I walked so quickly that me arms had almost swung out of their sockets and my legs were filled with agony. I saw the wharf and I walked faster, faster, and faster still, until I got the the first log of wood. I stopped, stared and thought.

I was going to do it, after all these years. I walked up to the edge of the wharf, and looked.

My legs collapsed, my head ached, my heart jolted. I did. I looking like that spitting image of my mother. The one I had lost so many years ago. I fell to the ground, the only thing I could see from my eyes was black at it was staying that way. Forever.