Occupational Hazard

• Tilda Stafford, Grade 12
• Short Story
• 2019

It was a bitter and altogether dismal day, like the dark, coarse grains that Red found at the bottom of her coffee cup that morning, and hated. The path stretched straight in front of her, with others branching off it and twisting into the distance, forming a maze that looked very easy to solve.

Red hooked the cane basket onto her arm and started walking. She knew the way to grandmother’s perfectly and was tasked with delivering some freshly-baked cakes, for she was suffering from obesity, and these would certainly make her grandmother feel better.

Red was passing some particularly limp violets when a monstrous figure leapt out in front of her. It thrust its grotesque snout into her face, and she could see its damp fur and smell rotting meat on its breath.

'Good day, Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going so early?'

Red was quite used to leaving the house at four every morning, and she wondered if this wolf was perhaps a bit slow.

'To my grandmother's.'

The wolf cocked its head and smiled. Its teeth were as white as snow, if that snow had been stained a foul yellow by urinating dogs.

‘Might she like a fresh bouquet of flowers?’

It pointed a crooked claw to the woods, with the sickly-sweet smile of a travelling salesman.

Red considered for a moment. Her mother had told her to never leave the path on pain of death, but those instructions certainly left room for interpretation. So, Red curtsied to the wolf, and turned off into the grim forest.

It was five o’clock exactly when Red pushed open the thin door of her grandmother’s cottage. Her usual greeting echoed around the cold room, but was met with silence. Dull candlelight flickered across the stale curtains, dusty china figures and the bed, in which Red noticed a peculiarly large lump.

Red tiptoed over to where her grandmother lay. Her night-cap was pulled far over her face, and she looked generally quite strange.

'Oh! Grandmother, what a terribly big mouth you have!'

'All the better to eat you with!'

And with one bound, the wolf was out of bed and had swallowed Red Riding Hood whole.

Red found herself in what can only be described as an altogether unpleasant situation. Everything was coloured a sour crimson, and a faint growling rumbled through the walls of the stomach around her.

She crossed her legs, and sighed as she scraped sludge from her velvet coat. Her mother would be cross, but a soak in cold water would certainly remove any stains. Red examined her new accommodation, and whilst it was not a particularly spacious living space, it would be nice to finally have a room of her own.

Red was by now feeling a bit peckish, and drew the picnic basket into her lap. She couldn’t see her grandmother anywhere, and hoped she wouldn’t mind. Grinning, she pulled out a cupcake iced with an elegant pink swirl, and swallowed it whole.