Comatose

• Batool Arja, Grade 8
• Short Story
• 2019

All I could hear were the loud sirens as I yelled and groaned in pain. Pleading for the pain to stop hurting as the paramedics wheeled me into the emergency room. They cut parts of my clothes to get to where the injuries were located. I yelled over and over at them, it hurt so much. Why couldn’t the pain just all fade away?
They rushed me into a hospital room, my body fought back, but my mind didn't. All I remember was one moment I was screaming in pain, then everything went numb. I closed my eyes as I slipped into the darkness.
***
I lay in the hospital bed, seemingly asleep. I could still hear. Their voices were clear, but it was impossible to respond. The constant commands my brain sent out wouldn’t work, my body seemed as though it’d shut down completely.
My family visited almost every day, bringing flowers each time they came. Friends of which I cared for also came by when they could. I wished I could answer their calls to me.
I knew I wouldn't be able to in this state. All I could do was watch them cry, cry and plea for me to wake up. I wish I could stop their tears, I wish I could make them smile. What's the point if you can't make the ones you love happy?
***
I had heard of my friend, Hazel, being killed in a car crash only a little while ago. I couldn't help but wonder; Was it my fault she died? Did I make her suffer?
Not too soon after Leo, the one who always made me laugh, couldn't handle the pain. He committed suicide. He's dead, so is Hazel.
I want to comfort them, to tell them everything's fine, that I'll be fine. I'm sorry that I'm so useless, that must have caused everyone I've ever cared about to suffer through grief.
The doctor took vitals each day, never missing a single thing.
Yet even I know it isn’t true. I’m not fine. I can’t protect those I love; I don’t deserve them. I can hear them crying over me all day and night for me to wake up, the noise of them crying tears me apart.
Is there even a point of living if I can’t spend it with the shame of being the reason, they’re dead. The people who always stood up for me and helped me.
Maybe if I give up, maybe the sadness will go away, maybe it’ll stop. Everyone won’t be sad because they can move on. They don’t need someone like me.
With my fate decided. I woke up for moments to take my last breaths. My parents and the doctors stared at me in shock. “…I’m…. sorry….” I managed to whisper faintly. The doctors yelled as the tried to save my life.
This is the end, I guess. I let go and let myself be consumed and wrapped up in the comforting darkness.