Oh But That Smell Tho

• Burke Seeley, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2019

One day Harold was walking down the street and it took Harold about five seconds to realize that he had four detectives chasing me in a stretch hummer. The speed they were travelling was about 5 km/h!!! Mind-blowing!! He couldn’t believe that the car was still moving at that speed. So he stopped Harold’s great and refreshing walk and let them approach him cautiously. He took his shoes off as they were coming up to him and lifted his foot up towards their face and let them take a long and concentrated sniff. They were impressed with the whiff Harold had produced through his lower foot area, thankfully. They were overwhelmed with his intelligence and decided to promote Harold to a senior position as the chief examiner of beautiful foot odours. Now that he was promoted as chief examiner of beautiful foot odours, he decided he should sell foot replacements, he called his foot replacement shop “Troublesome feet”. His business was a huge success earning 5c every 7 hours. He now had enough money to buy 2 yoghurt sticks, they were his favourite snack to eat because it reminded him of his foot replacement business. The Giant Sequoia tree that he grows out the back of “Troublesome Feet” has already grown 23 branches in just 3.894401 hours, he was so happy with his progress that he decided to close his business from bankruptcy. His business had earned the title of Business of the Hour! His reward was 3c, 2 paperclips and his very own happy face sticker! He was so overjoyed that he bursted his uncle’s niece’s nephew’s cousin’s grandpa’s grandma’s son’s daughter’s son’s auntie’s balloon which caused her to cry with grief. So, Harold took him to see the eye doctor to see if his sense of smell was ok. But…….! It wasn’t! He had to go to Jim Smith’s hospital so he could have surgery on his left ear so he could smell better. The operation was a complete failure and his uncle’s niece’s nephew’s cousin’s grandpa’s grandma’s son’s daughter’s son’s auntie died and was buried beneath the floorboards of Bunnings. “All’s well that ends well!” cried Harold in a psycho but excited tone. “The baker is not having a happy time with his foot lately Harold, I think you should see to it.” Said Harold’s uncle Napoleon stroking his long and black beard. “Ok, I will get him to have MRI scans on his troublesome foot”. So, he went to scan the panic-stricken conscious baker and found traces of apple tree leaves beneath his funny bone. “Oh!” cried Harold in belief, “He is going to need treatment on his right toenail!”. The baker didn’t make it through the surgery on his toenail and was tied onto the nose of the Boeing 747 for a victory dance. The Saloon across the road of Harold’s house caught fire last night and we poured petrol over the building to extinguish the flames, only then the fire got really angry with Abdullah who poured the petrol on it to extinguish those heartbreaking flames and completely burnt off his arm in the process. Sad times for that family. Just at that moment the drunk horse neighed in delight to see his master return to his barn. “Always remember to visit www.troublesomefeet.com.au when in need of nose surgery!”, was Harold’s campaign poster.