Happiness

Happiness

Happiness.

By dictionary, description happiness is the state of being happy, but for me, well happiness has never been a problem. Understanding the feeling of true warmth is something I long for so deeply, it might bring me to the state of madness.

The feeling of desire clung to me so desperately, the desire to be loved and the desire to love squeezed my heart more and more every day, making me succumb to the feeling finally. Strands of hair stuck to my face grasping the chance to irritate me, as I sat on the edge of my bed. Great another day of school was preparing its worst for me, the same old house filled with the smell of toffee, no bubble-gum…I moved off my bed and down into the lonely hall, the tiles freezing the tips of my toes. It was empty as usual, not a soul in sight…but lately, I feel as if I’m beginning to enjoy it, the solitude was peaceful. I made my way out of the house and to school, where the facade began. Where no one knew what was under the bright smile I pushed forth instead of allowing darkness to peak, where no one truly understood me…until him. He was beautiful as ever, with those caring blue eyes and a smile warmer than any of my fake ones. He was an angel, but underneath everything was his hidden darkness too…the darkness banging at his heart to be let out. I never understood how he was so happy even though he had darkness, I wanted to monopolise him and his happiness but…he doesn’t notice me or my feelings. I loved him, I loved him so much…the way his hair covered half of his face and the way he talked fast when he was excited…I loved him. But I wished for his happiness more, and his happiness belongs to another.

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