Ocean Soul

• Abby Chai, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2019

I could stay here forever, with the water caressing my skin and the smell of salt infused in my nostrils. The water gently moves around my outstretched fingers, eddying in their wake. I lift my hand, and drops of water escape from my fingertips, diving skilfully into the water, forming rings on the surface of the water.
Most days are like this. The ocean is my sister, and our breaths are one and the same. Her surface rises and falls in time with my chest, and her waves beat the same rhythm as my pulse.
In a void free of gravity, I gaze out at the vastness of the ocean, stretching out into oblivion.
The sunset at the horizon, spreading its palette of colours out into the grateful sky, contrasts with the blueness of the ocean. A deep, blood red blends with hues of orange gold, the colour of warmth and tangerines.
The dying sun shines onto the surface of the ocean, refracting light onto the surface of the ocean, creating a mosaic of the deepest of blues. The wind dances across the surface, twirling and leaping, scattering the shattered glass shards.
If I was born in the oceans, with fins for limbs and gills for lungs, would I even notice the water? Would it become my oxygen, and the air become my water?
I often feel as if I do belong in the ocean, as if I am a part of it. The ocean soothes me, and the wild oceans in my soul.
But then, the most innocent faces are the wildest.
Other days, the ocean angers me. How can something be so deep yet shallow? So wild yet calm? I want to be all that the ocean is. I want my soul to be as vast and deep as the ocean.
Sometimes the ocean inside me rages furiously. I am made of flames, and the water is extinguishing my fire.
The ocean tries to heal my wounds, but the salt makes them sting even more.
Some days, I am drowning beneath the waves of the ocean, gasping for breath. My head is pounding and my heart is palpitating rapidly in my ribcage. Every cell in my body is screaming, reaching for oxygen, any oxygen. Red and black spots dance in front of me, blurring my vision.
But then, I stop. I stop fighting. I begin to fall. I fall into the depths of the ocean, deeper and deeper into the darkness within, until it threatens to swallow me whole. It’s almost peaceful. The darkness envelops me, and all is black.
Sometimes the ocean sets me free, and sometimes it drowns me.
But for now, the ocean is my companion. The water was never afraid to touch me, never afraid to envelop me in its touch and wash away my pain. Even when I was at my most damaged and broken. Even when I wanted to swim out into the depths and never look back.