The incredibly long and pointless story

• Chris Forbes, Grade 7
• Short Story
• 2006

Once or maybe 1 000 000 000 times there was a boy called Ben. Ben had a dog that he had dressed up in an alpaca suit and then he had eaten it. Then all of a sudden Australia floated down up into the sky and then all the computers went feral and started eating cheese. They and ate and ate and ate and ate and then they all blew up. Then Ben sneezed and the world blew up and the Adam Sandler (In the movie Click) used his remote to rewind time to the age of dinosaurs and he got eaten up by a piece of dirt. The piece of dirt then used the remote to go back to the present day where all the fish were trying to protest so they could go to school and become institutionalised young piranhas who ate all the people who weren’t tree huggers and then they hugged the tree huggers. Soon all the tree huggers got shotguns and blew up themselves and the piranhas. Unlickily or maybe just a tiny bit luckily there was one piranha left that looked like this: ()(but the fish had a face lift so it looked like this: [][. Then Ben went to the park and ate pizza that was falling from the ground and then he saw retarded monkeys saying things like “gurgle gurgle flippity gloo cobble wobble shingy shong”. Ben got thirsty and hungry so he bought heaps of coke and slabs of chocolate from Idiotic Green Antelopes (I.G.A.). Then Ben went sugar high and chopped off his head so he could go to level 7 at Princess Margaret Hospital in Western Australia. The End!

This is the second paragraph. Please take your time reading because there is a very funny joke in it. After painstaking surgery, Ben was as good as new. Ben went to a penguin suit shop and bought a penguin suit. Then he went to a pet shop and bought two Siamese fighting fish who were mauling each other. Soon one got killed and the victor called Victor said “Hooray I won so I will have an extreme makeover so I can look like this: {}{!” But then the dead fish called Dead Fish said “Then I want to have a makeover so I can look like this: ()(!”Then Ben downloaded pirated music onto his I-pod and went to jail. Then his Siamese fighting fish bashed up all the guards in the jail and Ben could go home. Suddenly the world crashed into Venus which crashed into Mercury which crashed into the sun and made the whole multi-verse explode.

THE END

By Chris Forbes Year 7