Letting It All Out (Anxiety)

• Ebony Dewadasa, Grade 12
• Poetry
• 2021

It's tough when I'm constantly saying things I don't mean, constantly hiding the way I feel.
Losing my view on truthful words, beginning to forget what is actually real.
It's difficult when I forget to laugh, and I'm scared that someone might see.
I hope that no one saw my face, as I struggle to remember how to breathe.
It's hard to always pretend I'm happy, and I'm terrified that one day someone might ask.
It's becoming a bit harder every day; it's becoming quite the task.
I feel when my body begins to shake, and it searches for something to hold.
Although the temperature feels hot, my heart and mind seem cold.
My throat feels like it's closing; my legs feel like they're weak.
I try my best to grasp a breath, but there's hardly even enough to speak.
My hands have remained unsteady, and my heart is pounding like a drum.
Even though I can barely walk, I fight the urge to escape; to run.
I worry that everyone is watching, as my eyes dart frantically around.
I don’t want anyone to see a thing, so I try not to make a sound.
Desperately trying to calm myself down, when all I want to do is shout.
I'm hoping to remain unfound, as I finally give in to letting it all out.