Dare To Share

• Monica Ramsey Mackey, Grade 10
• Short Story
• 2021

In my heart, there is a book. If you read this book you will know everything about me; my ambitions, the things I love, absolutely everything. It’s a book you desire to read. You want to know everything about me and I’m at a loss of whether that’s good or not. Do I want you knowing everything about me? Or are there some things I’d rather keep to myself?
With pleading eyes you look toward me and your gentle voice asks, “May I read?”
Ice cascades itself through my body and forms an armour over my heart. I’m in a heavy debate with myself, screaming and crying, defending and attacking. With a broken voice I force out two words, “Not yet”. You seem to understand and you seem to be okay with it, but my eyes see below the mask to the boy I’ve just stabbed with my words. “It’s not like I don’t trust you, I do, I do with all my trust. The true problem is I don’t trust myself, I don’t trust my past nor my future to be enough for you. I don’t want to jeopardise how you think of me,” I elaborate.
You nod and speak softly, “I get it, I too own a book and I too am scared of you thinking different of me when you read it. But truth be told I want you to read it. I don’t want to hide among the shadows of my heart anymore. I want you to know everything, even though I’m scared of what may happen when you do.” Your words melt me and chip away at the ice a little, but the guarding soldiers stand steady. You hold my gaze and speak in a fragile voice, “Would you like to read it?”
The soldiers step away as I give a small nod. We sit down and stare into each other’s eyes as we reach inside our vulnerable hearts and unlock our guarded cages. We gently remove the books from our hearts and place them in each other’s hands. One last look at the innocent person who will soon learn all about me and then I dive into his life in words. I swim for a lifetime, learning of his fears, his loves, his experiences and every single thing in between.
I don’t even realise he’s done until I lift my own head to find him staring at me, I writher, uncomfortable at the way he’s studying my face. “What?” I ask and he just gives me a smile of comfort.
“I can’t believe we were scared of doing this,” he whispers, studying me intently. We fall silent, looking into each other’s eyes, our souls, which we have left exposed and bare. “I think I love you even more,” he whispers and my heart soars above the clouds into the heavens.
“I think I do too,” my naked soul speaks from its new place of existence, “I know I do.”