Social Anxiety

• Islajae Sogiannis, Grade 9
• Poetry
• 2022

Faces. So many faces. Too many faces. It feels like they’re staring, but I really wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know because I’m too embarrassed to even lift my head. I can’t stand looking at them, I’ll only be soon to find them staring… right ? Is it the feeling that I simply can’t do anything right, or is it the forceful manipulation that tricks me into thinking they care enough to judge me ? I live with this constant burden, this self-critiquing, self-destructive, self-judging headache of which refuses to leave my presence. I do everything it wants me to; I spend the average night with wet cheeks and an endless series of sleeplessness and unnecessarily frantic actions, so what more does it want from me ? It couldn’t possibly want me to just give up… right ? My mother, she worries, she cares, she acts; fast forward to the therapy room, ( AKA the place I love to lie the most ). But I am fine. I am. I’m fine because despite this ever-growing migraine, I can keep moving… right ? I won’t give up; I’ll just be resilient. It’s that easy !
Thank you to my school assemblies, and their overly-cringey, hour-long snooze-fests of a motivational speech to get us through the remaining weeks of our term; of which is simply stacked with assessments – one after the other, they don’t stop. Thank you to my teachers who so clearly understand my circumstances. Thank you to my overshadowing peers who think they’re too superior for their first world problems to be any less important than my realistic ones. Thank you anxiety, you have really brought the best out of me.