Mistakes

• Benjamin Nguyen, Grade 9
• Short Story
• 2022

To honour my past, learn from it and hope for a better future

He made a mistake..

Here he sat at the highest point at his school. Alone. Letting his thoughts wander. Birds chirping in the distance. Blue sky as far as the horizon. His fellow students below him are ignorant, of the pain, he is going through. Staring out upon the world, before him. One he plans to leave soon.

The cold concrete floor provided no comfort, the brick wall hurting his back. His eyes started to close gently, himself ready to give up. In his mind, a plan started to formulate. The final goodbyes, the final gifts, his the last words. All thought out to the minute detail.

He waited for the bell to ring so he could sneak out. In the meantime, he climbed over the barrier, slinging his feet over the edge of the rail, his feet hanging, He combed through his memories, feeling every emotion contained within them. He lingered on his mistakes and regrets feeling all the pain, sadness and anger. His head swirling. He couldn’t fight it. his thoughts stuck in the whirlpool of emotions that he unleashed. He realised the futility of fighting against it and succumbed to the storm, letting it carry him through his memories \.

He ended up back in the playground. Sitting on the side bench. Watched the dreadful; day unfold in front of him.

He watched as he played handball, blissfully ignorant of what was going to happen over the next couple of hours. The smile on his face showed nothing but joy. Two of his friends walked up behind his past self, telling him everyone he knew within the group didn't want to be friends with him anymore.

He remembers thinking he could still play handball and just talk to them or hang out near them but he couldn’t. The anger swarmed inside of him as they told him. The undying urge to go and punch a wall until his hand bleeds.

Minutes later, The meeting ended. He returned to his french class, only wanting to leave and cry so he did, under the guise that he needed fresh air he left.

Whatever wall he put up crumbled down, broken by the waves of anger, sadness and terror. He felt like he couldn't breathe, the world closing around him.

"WHY? Just why? Why am I here?" he whispered, his voice trembling. “Just end my life, please. Please. Have mercy on my soul”

Anger and sadness ripped him apart slowly. Sadness, washed over him relentlessly, smashing him around and around. Anger, burning him alive from the inside out completely. Tears rolled down his face. Dripping. Dropping. Staining the ground below him for eternity.