My Chains Are Gone, I've Been Set Free

• Roger Sweeney, Grade 12
• Short Story
• 2022

My Chains Are Gone, I’ve Been Set Free.

I’ve always fantasised about getting thousands of followers on Instagram and over one hundred comments each time I post. So, spending thirty minutes of time, editing and filtering, was no big deal, as long as it provided the desired result – envy – I wanted, no I needed, people to admire me. It didn’t matter that I didn’t really know all my followers in any deep and meaningful way – all I craved was to see those little hearts fill with red. This filled my inner core with a deep sense of belonging, of acceptance and most importantly the feeling that I belonged.

However, the more I was consuming Instagram, Tik Tok and SnapChat, the more I couldn’t concentrate, twenty seconds turned into fifteen, then ten, then five. Additionally, the more I was looking at my screen, the more my mind would scream for real life connection. The less social connection I got, the more socially awkward I became.

All of these negative feelings and emotions began to pile up, creating doubts and for the first time, I started to question whether my anxieties and insecurities that I seemed to be experiencing more frequently, were from the amount of time I was spending on the numerous social media platforms. The channels always showed so many of my followers having so much more fun than me. Loneliness swamped my entire being and the ugly face of anxiety presented itself to me. How was I going to get on top of the feed again? I needed to keep up my interactions and my social media presence in order to reach my dream? But the anxiety was crippling? People nowadays on Instagram have such high standards – the complexity of posting is no longer simple – editing and filtering requires time and getting it just right.

The pressure was real – to find the best photo, to edit the best, to have the best caption. I was now seriously debating whether to keep social media or not. Part of me loved talking to a variety of people all over the country, and also the feeling of posting something on Instagram and getting heaps of likes and comments. On the other hand, part of me despised the anxiety and the fear of missing out that was eating away at my soul every day.

That’s it – decision made. I had decided, I was going to delete social media, not just the app, the actual account. My finger hovered over the delete button for some time before I pressed it. There, I had done it, but then in a panic I tried to log back in, but it was well and truly gone. I sat in stunned silence, then I felt my inner being start to shift, the pressure lifted, and then an unbelievable sense of peace descended over me. My chains were gone and I had been set free.