Silence

• Brianna Truong, Grade 8, Fort Street High School -
• Short Story
• 2022

Excellence Award in the 'Summertime Fun ONLINE' competition

Dear, A

I never noticed how much I hated silence; I was a loquacious person. I often filled the said silence and gaps in conversations with my sharp tongue and witty banter, ever entertaining. And then you arrived. One of the few people who would indulge in my verbal sparring matches and keep the silence away from me. The one that would chase the silence so it would leave me alone, I always loved you for that. I always loved you with my double heart for your single one. I always loved how you painted a smile on my serious disposition, but you had taken it away just as easily as you had given it.

Three. Three months ago you had less time with me. Although your slight absence didn’t bother me on the surface level of my emotions, the increasing silence did. Keeping the silence away for so long meant I didn’t have to know it. But when you came back, I chased the silence away and embraced you, drank you in like the sunlight that kissed our skin. When I started writing these letters that I would never send, I found myself wishing to be back in your embrace.

Two. Two months ago you changed, subtly enough for it to be unnoticed by you, but crudely enough for it to be noticed by me. In hindsight, I suppose it wasn’t your fault, your ego was nurtured in the wrong ways. As you left each day with your newfound friends, your sentences became shorter as my grip became stronger. At this point, I knew that in some ways you had already freed yourself through my fingertips. Perhaps I had let go.

One. One month ago, you became abrasive and cruel. When we first dedicated ourselves to each other, you told me that you were afraid to hurt me. I understand now that it was a warning. When you gave yourself to your friends, I lost you. Rather you became someone who wasn’t mine to lose. Your words would dance around me, then, they became a battlefield, a prison that I tried to escape. Your words became so hurtful that even my own words weren’t enough to compensate for the ache it left in my chest.

Zero.

Now I’ve broken away from you. Wanting you, missing you, knowing I can’t have you. I shouldn’t want you. I know. I know. I tell myself these things to prevent myself from caving in and running back to you. To avoid the silence. I cycle through our history once more. When we initially met I was naive, conceivably a little blind, as love is. I’ve matured since and I know better. I will never stop loving you. The one that I lost or the one that is lost. In time, you will find your way and perhaps you will find yourself again.

I listen to crackling flames as I watch my last words to you disappear in the cloud of smoke.

From,
B