Everyday Mourning Routine

• Olly Harrison, Grade 11
• Poetry
• 2022

I grieve for those who are still alive,
And attend the funerals of people I see daily.
I wear my mourning garments to school, my mascara, my uniform, my tie.
My expression is resolute as I walk down the hallway to say their eulogy.
I pretend we are a tragedy.
A tragedy like the Scottish play we analyse in English,
or the tale of two lovers we perform in drama.
I pretend, and I act, and I improvise the life I live without you.
My grief is a metaphor, poorly written by a year 9 English student,
As a representative of the struggle, I am unable to overcome.
I hold your smile in a text, your memories in a bracelet,
yet I can no longer hold a conversation with you lest I forget where we stand.
I watch my fingers shake in the vape-scented bathrooms,
And I once again clasp my hands to the sky in an act of futile desperation.
I cry, and I breathe, and I pray.
I pray for a time when I no longer have to mourn for the living.